Why did the chicken cross the road? Probably because this chicken had a mental disability and saw on the news that there was a hospital on the other side of the road that could treat his illness and possibly save his life, allowing him to fulfill his life-long dream of retirement. But knowing that chickens do not possess the brain power capable of understanding the situation that this chicken was in, it had probably gotten lost and just wandered off.

What has one head, three eyes and seven legs? A cow with a tri-pod rammed up it's arse. The third eye is a result of a birth defect.

WELCOME TO THE SECRET TOWARDS GOING BEYOND YOUR FIFTH SENSE... UNLOCKING YOUR SIXTH SENSE! (redux:Chronoshift extend Xr`d Utrawave edition) 1, Sound 2. sight 3.touch 4.Smell 5.Taste. 6.Balance? :( 7. Pressure :/ 8. Itch :O 9.Thermoception: Ability to sense heat and cold :S 10.Proprioception: This sense gives you the ability to tell where your body parts are. 11.Coordination. :/ 12. Nociception: In a word, pain. This was once thought to simply be the result of overloading other senses, such as “touch”, but this has been found not to be the case and instead, it is its own unique sensory system. There are three distinct types of pain receptors: cutaneous (skin), somatic (bones and joints), and visceral (body organs). Moral Man the Friendly arsonist, motherpounder: I SHALL GLADLY HELP YOU UNLEASH YOUR 12th SENSE TO ITS FULLEST DEGREE!

How do you get a chicken to cross the road? Get him in the other side

Why did the chicken cross the road? It followed a trail of bird feed that was strewn across the street.

Why was the black man afraid of leaving his house? Because he has severe agoraphobia and cannot function normally in society.

how many mexicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 283,000,322,249,390

Whats the difference between Rolf Harris and a pedophile Whoops I didn't quite think this one through

what did rishi say to jess ? GOOD ONE

Why did the fox cross the road? To chew on the chicken carcass.

"Do you know the joke No me neither?" "No..." "Me neither..."

what's the difference between a chicken and a grape? They're both purple........ except for the chicken

What's worse than an actual joke on anti-joke.com? Many things. Considering this is only one website among millions on the internet, and it really has no effect on what happens in the world, it really isn't a big deal in the grand scheme of life.

A baby seal walks into a bar... The bartender looks at it and says: too young.

A sloth walked into the dentists he was confused

Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Knock knock Who's there? Banana. Knock knock Who's there? You're in-laws. Bet you wish I said banana

How are baseball and the holocaust similar? They're both games, except for the holocaust

Me: How can you tell if somebody's a Nazi? Friend: How? Me: Their killing people in a ghetto. Friend: My friend was shot in a ghetto. Me: So, does that make him a Jew? Friend: No, he was just killed in a big ass oven.

What's the difference between your wife and the kitchen? One is a living organism

What did the ocean say to the other ocean? Nothing, they just waved

whats white and if it fell from a tree it would kill you ? Pat Butcher

A baby seal walks into a club.

What is Green and smells like Yellow Paint Green Paint

What happens when a blind man walking crashes in to man that's talking to his gang ? He wakes up in a ditch

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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