Why did the chicken cross the road Why? Because his house was burning down on the other side

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Sugar is sweet, And so is she.

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I have your mom in bed just kidding, i killed her Then barried her

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What is 9 inches long, the same colour as my skin, and makes my girlfriend gag when I shove it down her throat? Her Miscarriage.

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Where's Stevin Hawkins? He went for a walk.

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I used to be an adventurer like you, until old age slowly took away my ability to move and go adventuring

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I'm hungry.

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Never mail in your wished to a genie, he may be dyslexic.

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why did the kitten not eat its food? because its face was stapled to the floor.

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I bont really understand dyslectic peapole

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So after 2 years of dating, the man thought the woman actually loved him. So to find out they took a ski trip and during their day they were on the chairlift and the man asked the woman "Do you love me?" The woman replied "No...I'm just in it for the sex, but that's a nice ski mask you have on"

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Little Jimmy's mommy loved to see the smile on her only son's face as he ate her homemade cookies. Due to lack of medical knowledge at the time, Little Jimmy contracted diabetes and died before he turned 30. Unmarried and childless, he was diligently working on his doctorate thesis on Astrophysics. His death marked the end of his family line.

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What is red and invisible? No tomatoes.

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Why did the pig jump over the farmer? Because he's a stupid idiot.

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Yo momma is so dumb, the tests came back positive for mental retardation and she has been given an expected life expectancy of 2 years.

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What do Helen Keller, Stevie Wonder, and Ray Charles have in common? They were all mentioned in the previous sentence.

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Humans are pathetic: What kind of heaven is it when you die, and learn that everybody you love chose the wrong religion and is burning in hell? Moral: Human garbage!

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How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way.

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what smells like tuna? my underwear

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How do you catch a Jew? Just give him a little shower ;)

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How do you get a nun pregnant? You practice unprotected sex with her.

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Why did the mokey board the westbound train? I said gray umbrella noodle head!

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What do you call a dog with no legs? Doesn't matter. It won't come to you regardless what you call it.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? An even better question is why are the chicken morals being questioned every time it feels like doing something.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops