- Anti Joke

Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs? A: A quadriplegic.

What do Jesus, The Easter Bunny, and Santa Claus all have in common? Their middle names are all Larry.

How do you find a true idiot jump in the road when the light is green.

A man walks into a bar and orders a sprite. Everyone in the bar looks and him funny and then laughs. He then tells them, "I would rather satisfy myself with a cool lemon-lime drink than put the poisonous toxins of alchohol into my blood stream."

What do you call a black man? Black

Ain't idn't a word.

I went to the doctor & he gave only 6 months to live. I told him I couldn't pay my bill, he said "that doesn't change the fact you're going to die soon."

Why did the Japanese boy drop his sushi? He was hit by a tsunami

In my eyes Nero, you are much like a philosopher, the kind which are mocked while they live, and then a couple thousands years later, are recognized as the most intelligent beings of their time.

While your reading this. A man is robbing your home and sodomizing your dog

What did the black kid get for Christmas? Nothing. He celebrates Kwanzaa.

A horse walks into a bar Barman: Why the long face? Horse: just had a stroke

What did the Hungarian say before he went to bed? "I'm going to bed," but he said it in Hungarian.

Two peanuts walk down the street. One was a salted.

richard is fag

If I fly my canoe upstream and a wheel falls off, then how many lollipops does Obama have? None, because dogs can't use flashlights.

Followers of Neronism: Many outsiders have told us that we hide in the dark, stay away from the ways of this society because we are ashamed of who we are... ...Never forget that we stay in the darkness because we live in a place where we can walk without being ashamed not of ourselves, but of the blind fools around us! They judge, they kill, they make one another suffer and believe that love is sacrificing themselves and their loved ones rather than preserving them all for their fucking Deities! As for those that accuse us of being Satanists, and me for being Satan, remember that this has nothing to do about following God or his fucking castaway son, his supposed equal in power, but about believing in ourselves, and each other. Recently a group of certain "true believers" accused me of being possessed by the devil, until a fucking eight year old asked me if I was Satan... ...As her parents smiled I realized it was them that made her ask me that, so I stared them into the eyes and said: "If I am the kind of being that encourages people to listen to their hearts, to live out their true desires with happiness rather than shame, to live out their hopes and dreams and spread happiness while understanding that love is both about the preservation of self and others and living in the present rather than surrendering free will and life in a gamble for a life after death... ...Then per your definition, you already know who your kin knows me as." Know finally that many call me insane for living out what started as a daydream, then grew into a vision, and has become reality, a society where peace, love, happiness, and unity based on what makes us all the same, rather than those superficial things that make us seem different, and respect and belief for one another rather than for some God has finally become a reality... ...The reason that I left for years at the time was not only in order to build the fundamentals behind our order, but also in order to wonder if I was fucking insane for standing against beliefs that most of the world follow is over... ...Today I can finally point at those questioning my sanity, and shout "YOU ARE THE FUCKING INSANE ONES! YOU ARE THE FUCKING EVIL SCUM OF THE EARTH THAT BRAINWASH YOUR OWN CHILDREN AND BEAT UP YOUR WIVES IN ORDER TO PLEASE SOME FUCKING INVISIBLE HOLY GHOST FROM SPACE OR SOMETHING JUST AS FUCKING STUPID! YOU ARE THE VICTIMS THAT HAVE BEEN TROUGH BRAINWASHING AND FEAR BEEN TRICKED INTO FOLLOWING THE FALSE NOTION YOU CALL "LOVE!" If the beginning of a world where everyone is equal, where respect for yourself and your own kin is law, brings us into an order, and perhaps one day into a world of peace, wealth, love, care, and understanding is Satan, is insanity... THEN I AM OFFICIALLY SATAN THE INSANE! AND IF THIS IS NOT RIGHT, THEN I WANT TO BE WRONG! IF FEAR OF DYING IS EXACTLY WHAT STOPS RELIGIOUS ONES FROM LIVING THEIR OWN LIFE! THEN THEY ARE THE WEAK ONES NOT EVEN DARING TO FACE LIFE! And that I can finally wake up from those dreams where I feel as if I am Satan... And wake up and shout to all "THE HELL WITH WHAT I AM! GODS ARE WHAT EVIL IS!" And then I feel shame... Shame for ever believing myself to be equal with these fucking humans of which few realize how fucking wrong religion is, and those that do, just stand there doing nothing to stop the abuse, the destruction, the brainwashing of children which again become parents which again send their children into war plunging this world into suffering! ALL TO APPRAISE SOMETHING THEY HAVE NEVER EVEN SEEN BUT FEAR SO MUCH "for love" THAT THEY DESTROY THEIR OWN CHILDREN! I am pissed... How could I have spent so much time doubting what is today reality, thanks to all that made this happen, and my pity to all that allow their own fear, to destroy not only their own lives, but those of their loved ones.

Why couldn't the farmer drive his tractor He had no arms why didn't he have arms Because he was a potato

Why was Jimmy so bad at jumping rope? His father's car ran over an IED back in 2009. Jimmy had lost his legs in a tragic explosion.

How do you make a clown stop smiling? Hit him in the face with an axe.

Why is it bad luck for a black cat to cross your path? I'll tell you in Heaven

Knock Knock Who's there? Kevin. Kevin who? Kevin Smith. Oh yes, Kevin Smith that lovely boy from just around the corner! Come on in!

What do Jews and gays have in common? They both would have been killed during the Holocaust.

What's worse than getting a parking ticket? Getting brutally raped in the anus by the Dark Lord Satan.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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