how do you kill a blond? there are many ways but every one of them is illegal and could be criminally chargeable.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

thumb_up thumb_down +9

why did the zombie eat bob because bob was delicious

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Knock Knock whos there? Semore Frickelson Semore Frickelson Who? What other Semore Frickelson do you know!? Let me in its freezing out here!

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Did you know that in the country of Nigeria, every minute, 60 second passes?

thumb_up thumb_down +9

what do you do when you forget to do your math homework? kill your teacher

thumb_up thumb_down +9

NO IT IS MINE! ALL MINE!

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What do humans and trees have in common? -If you hit them with an ax multiple times, they fal down

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What happens when a plane with 2500 people on board crashes? There were only 165 seats.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the blind man die? He had eye surgery and the doctor told him when he first opened his eyes there would be a very bright light, turns out he also had alzheimers and wandered onto the train tracks

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. He was stapled to the baby.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Is your daddy a thief? Because he stole my wallet.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

How many seals does it take to unscrew a lightbulb? Depends on how high the ceiling is.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A cat starts grooming itself How many sprinkles does it take to cover the moon Cabinet because whales live in water

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did billy fall off his bike? Because someone threw a fridge at him.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

How many ADHD kids does it take to change a light bulb? Let's go ride our bikes!

thumb_up thumb_down +9

An Irishman, Scotsman and Englishman were jumping into well because they were told whatever they shouted when they fell they landed on. I lied and they died, hehe

thumb_up thumb_down +9

how did the girl die? she read all of your terrible anti-jokes.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the police officer pull over the black person? He made a traffic infraction.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the Asian man go into space? Because he was an astronaut.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Rick santorum

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A man sees Bill Murray at a restaurant in Los Angeles and tells his friends about the incident. They believe the story, because it is entirely plausible that it actually happened.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Happy Birthday!! Have some meth cupcakes.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why does the Gay guy have a bell on his bike? Because its the only way his blind dog can follow him.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops