That joke was so funny that I fell off my dinosaur. Then afterwards had to be put in a rehabilitation center because I am schizophrenic and dinosaurs are extinct.

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What is green and would kill you if it fell out of a tree and onto your head? A pool table.

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A black, asian, and white guy jump off a building, who lands first? Well, according to newton's law of gravitation every massive particle in the universe attracts every other massive particle with a force that is directly proportional to the product of their masses and inversely proportional to the square of the distance between them. It depends on who weighs the most

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Why dont you ever see any black mermaids? Mermaids dont exist.

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What was the Alzheimer patient favorite drink? What was the Alzheimer patient favorite drink?

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I love my valentine <3 Hes mine no matter what anyone says <3 Cause i love him with all my heart <3

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My Roomate-(crying in the fetal position for the love of his life has been murderer) Me- (laughing) I have a problem

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A: Knock knock. B: Who's there? A: Banana! B: Not you again..(slams door)

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Wat do you do when you see aomeone bleeding on the ground? Walk away and act like nothing happened

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A muslim checks in at an airport and gets on a plane. He reads a book about knitting, gets off the plane at France and goes back to his job as a librarian.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I hate rhyming, Zebras.

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Why did the horse have 5 legs? She was still giving birth.

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Jon has 40 chololate bars, he eats 32, what does he have now? Diabetes.

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A baby boy and a baby girl are much alike when you eat them they die

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What did the man want a car for his birthday? 7.

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why did the chicken cross the road ??? why would you care??

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3 aliens landed on earth. They all wanted to learn english. The first alien went to an opera class and learned "mi mi mi mi mi." The second alien went to a military camp and learned "guns and bazookas, guns and bazookas!" The third alien went to a candy shop and learned "he stole my lollipop!" After all of that, they went to their spaceship and saw a dead man and a cop that said, "which one of you three killed this man?" The first alien said "mi mi mi mi mi." The cop said "what did you kill him with?" The second alien said "guns and bazookas, guns and bazookas!" The cop then said "why did you kill him?" The third alien said "he stole my lollipop!"

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Where did Susie go during the bombing? Everywhere

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What's the difference between a white man and a black man? Nothing. They are both created in God's image and likeness so get your mind outta the gutter!

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whats worse than 10 babies in a mail box 1 baby in 10 mail boxes

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Why was the thirteen year old raped by an online predator? Because he made very poor choices on giving out his personal information.

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Whats orange and has stripes? - a tiger

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Why did the cow cross the road? To get to the slaughter house

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What's the difference between a pile of dead baby's and a Cadillac? I don't have a Cadillac in my garage...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops