Where did Betsy go after the explosion? Everywhere

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A: Whats black and hangs from my tree in my backyard? B: What? A: Blackberries B: Blackberries grow on bushes

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What is just as real as a unicorn? World peace

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Why did the fat kid fall of his bike? The skinny kid pushed him off!

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Trees are red, Bushes are red, Oh shit, my garden is on fire

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Q: What's the biggest lie ever? A: Saying you read the Terms of Service

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What starts with P and ends with "oop" POOP

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Why was the Irish Cop happy to see the Mexican family killed in a accident? Because the Lopez family were a family known for generosity and selflessness. It came as no surprise to anyone who knew Steven Lopez and his beloved family that they were all organ donors and not only that but Shelly Lopez, Steven's oldest daughter had blood type O negative (the universal donor). Officer McO'Brianiganly's wife is dying in the hospital in need of a kidney transplant, doctors have given her just weeks to live. Now, thanks to unfortunate events for la familia Lopez., Officer McO'Brianiganly and his wife can live a long happy life together, just as they always imagined.

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When life gives you lemons. Don't take things from strangers

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Whats funnier than a dead baby? a dead baby in a clown costume!!!

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Why can't Michel Jackson play chess? He's dead

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Why did the chicken cross the road? -I do not believe chickens like being questioned of their motives. We should leave them alone.

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Want to hear a dirty joke? Well... I can't tell you. It's inapropriate.

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Why can't black people swim? Many of them can. It's racist to assume that.

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bangers and mash?

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What do you get when you cross a muffin with chocolate chips? A chocolate chip muffin.

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Why was the black man drowning? His boat sank.

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In soviet russia, the cow milks you!

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends how hard you throw them.

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How do you choke a lawyer? You squeeze his neck until he stops breathing.

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courestaveesh garasow prau varadesh

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What's black, white and red all over? Half a penguin.

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A man walks into a bar. He was the barman. [L]

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The past, the present and the future walk into a bar. It was tense.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops