What did the man say when he saw a giant herd of elephants coming? "Look! There's a giant herd of elephants coming!"

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An American, an Irish man, a Chinese man and a Black man walk in to a Bar, the Bartender takes their order

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why did the boy fall off his bicycle? because his dad threw a refrigerator at him.

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Yo momma so fat she should be concerned of contracting Coronary Heart Disease, high blood pressure, type 2 diabetes, abnormal blood fats, metabolic syndrome, cancer, osteoarthritis, sleep apnea, or even obesity hypoventilation syndrome

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Nero, you got followers, people that believe in you, ironically maybe a lot less now, that I have been giving them the fake illusion that I am you, why did you never reveal your true self? Is there something wrong with you physically? Something you fear being judged upon? I love and admire your work, and you to be honest, I know you are married and all, but my heart has chosen its path, it cant be helped really, believe me, I have tried. Dont lose hope in yourself, sometimes you have to accept that you are smarter, wiser, more compassionate and vulnerable than the rest, allowing yourself to be a vulnerable person, also shows how strong you are, if you shut it all away in order to become "strong", you know you end up alone and forgotten. I understand why someone such as you loses hope in humanity, but as long as you hold into the hope of you having the wisdom and courage required to stand on your own with pride rather than shame of your strength and individuality as a human being, something ever rarer I concur, then you have the right to consider yourself greater rather than some arrogant jackass, believe me, I know the man I am speaking about.

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you know somebody is lying when it IS opposite day.

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How many black people does it take to change a light bulb? one, its a fairly easy task

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What do you call a baby with no arms or legs? You call a lawyer, and be sure to have him ask the mother if she took Thalidomide during pregnancy.

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A bar walks into a man... Wait, that's impossible.

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What is grosser than somebody eating their own booger? Someone else eating that persons booger

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Cornflakes were an accident, so was Chernobyl

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The elephant moonwalked. On the moon.

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A flight attendant walks up to a black man on a plane. She then asks if he would like anything to drink.

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What is the difference between a person of Mexican heritage and a park bench? One is a bench, the other is a human being.

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What starts with E and ends with lephant? Not giraffe

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angelosnyder is not gay

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I'm so full I could stop eating.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the farm he was from was near a road. There was a hole in the fence and the chicken got out. He then started wandering and happened to cross the road.

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hey i just met you and this is c r a z y , but im a pirate so call me matey ;)

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Why did Sally drop her ice cream cone? Because she had no arms. Knock, Knock! Who's there? Not Sally.

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Whats worse than 10 dead babies in the street? 11 babies in the street.

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Why did the Nazi doctor drown a Jew in the lake? Because he felt like it.

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Who ya gonna call? ... Whoever you need to talk to at the current time.

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Who let the dogs out? Their owner because he had come to the rational conclusion that they were cooped up in their cage all night and were in serious need of relieving themselves and needed love and affection

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops