A man walks into a bar with a chicken on his head the bartender asks the man why do you have a chicken on your head the man replies the chicken is thirsty

Why does the Taliban forbid people from having sex standing up? It might lead to dancing. And then, of course, death.

Why did the mailman cross the road? To deliver mail

What do you can an astronaut with an apple? Never mind, I have a boner.

why did the giraffe cross the road? because my dad and his "fishing buddies" are having another "meeting" in the basement. I hear weird noises, and I haven't seen my little sister in weeks, since the last "meeting." Dad said she went to a special camp for little girls. I hear horrible noises.

Why didn't the 9-year-old girl go to school on monday? Because she lived in a country where women don't have rights and was traded as a commodity for 2 pigs to be a wife for a 43 year old man.

Santa Clause, a smart blonde, and the Queen of England all jump out of a plane, which hits the ground first? Galileo's theory tells us that all objects fall at the same speed regardless of weight, so they all hit simultaneously.

Why did the woman make the man a sandwich? Because the man severed his spinal cord and is no longer able to move any of his limbs.

Two muffins were in an oven. One of them said, "It's sure hot in here!" The other muffin didn't respond because it's dead.

how do make a condom fly around the room? Piss it off!

Why did litltle Susie drop her ice cream? She got hit by a bus Knock knock Who's there Not Susie

There once was a man from Nantucket who lost most of his savings by making bad investment decisions.

How do you teach an old dog a new trick? Answer: You can't

A mermaid walks into a bar, but she has no legs, so she flops over and proceeds to drag herself into the bar.

What's funnier than a dead baby? An episode of 'Friends'.

Who is the funniest guy on this planet? Mike the Situation.

Three blondes walk into a bar. They have an intellectual conversation over some drinks.

What did little Timmy find at the bottom of the well? The fact that he could no longer breathe and thus causing him to drown.

What's the difference between a bicycle? An orange because it has no sleeves.

What did the black man buy at the store? Nothing he has no money

How did the Mexican get into the U.S.A.? He came in legally, and got his green card. He then continued his life as a business man and won the lottery four years later for 5 million dollars. He then bought a cool television, he also had children and put the money in their college funds later.

A man violently rapes a small child. Unfortunately the child has aids and gives them to the man.

Hey, I just met you And this is crazy! But here's my switchblade Get in the trunk.

What do Michael Jordan and Michael Jackson have in common? The same first name.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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