Knock knock who's thare Your mom She's dead you bitch

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What do you call a black guy selling drugs? A pharmacist

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An elderly man farts during Sunday morning mass. The children around him laugh and then their parents remind them to be respectful.

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Why Johnny's parents threw out his broken bike? - ´Cause Johnny got hitted by a drunken driver and died last week, when he was cycling to school.

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Three men went out for a night on the town, one had too much to drink and was forced to take a cab home.

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Find x X + 2 = 5 ^ I found it

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Red sky in the morning, Shepard's warning. Red sky at night, Shepard's Fulcrum.

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haha

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What doesn't kill you makes you stronger! Wrong. What doesn't kill you could leave you in a parapledgic state.

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What's red bubbly and spins around? A baby in a microwave

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What's the same between grapes and squirrels? They're both purple, except for the squirrel.

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Why was 2 afraid of 81? Because seven eight nine.

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what did one deer say to the other? nothing, he was shot during hunting season.

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Gun laws don't work because criminals don't pay attention to the laws

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Yo mama is so ugly that she won an award for that

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What do you say to a girl with two black eyes? Nothing you've already told her twice.

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You're such a baby, that you are still in diapers! Ew! How would you know creep!

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:)I will always assist you in whatever you ever want. :(I want to kill you!

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The snails are salting one by one Hurrah! Hurrah! They fizzle up until they're gone Hurrah! Hurrah! We salt the snails and hear their wails As they melt and die! The snails are salting two by two Hurrah! Hurrah! They melt until there's only goo Hurrah! Hurrah! We salt the snails and hear their wails As they melt and die! The snails are salting three by three Hurrah! Hurrah! Some shells and slime is all I see Hurrah! Hurrah! We salt the snails and hear their wails As they melt and die! The snails are salting four by four Hurrah! Hurrah! We shaker-salt them even more Hurrah! Hurrah! We salt the snails and hear their wails As they melt and die!

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Obama

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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How do you shock thomas eddison? Attatch his kite to his balls.

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Two Guys Walk into a bar, you would think one of them would've seen it

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"What would Jesus do?" "Form a religion, get nailed to a cross, and become a martyr to millions."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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