A man walked in to a bar, he ordered a few drinks, met some new friends and had a good laugh with them. Later that night, he got in his car and drove home, which was foolish, as he should have known that being under the influence of alcohol increases the percentage of a collision, which could take his life and the lives of others. He arrived home just fine and got in to bed with his wife who was happy to see him.

What did the bi-polar girl do when she found our her ex-boyfriend was living with another woman? Nothing; she was happy for their new relationship and realized life changes and moves on, in addition to taking the daily appropriate amount of medical prescription as directed by her doctor.

What did Dave tell me on Tuesday? "It's Wednesday, dumbass."

a man walks off of a damn. a damn is not a noun, thus nobody can walk off it

a black person was walking into his home. good thing balls like apple juice and Miley Cyrus was keeping guard with her sword.

why cant stevie wonder read? because hes black

Why did the chicken cross the road? Nobody knows, it's impossible to determine the motivations of an animal that is incapable of speech.

whats uglyand cry , and screams mommy ... you after i bitch slap you

The town was so small. The ferris wheel was green.

Why did the bird fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the bird.

You know what's lame? A person who can't walk.

Kid: My dad's brother has gone at it with a lot of women. Friend(sarcastically): Geez that's great! When was he born? Kid: '69

What's black, white and red and can't turn round in corridors? A nun with a spear through her head

Why did the black man get pulled over by a cop? He was driving 12 miles over the speed limit.

How do you make an Indian explode? Push the red button

cancer

Wanna hear a bathroom joke? YOU TRYIN' TO KILL US?!?

How do giant spiders like to spend their weekends? Eating Orphans.

How long does it take to acheive a superbowl win? However long it takes you.

Have you ever heard of a goose?

Knock Knock WHO'S THERE?????!!! y u mad? u have been knocking at the doors for 5 hours now, mom

Why did Michael Jackson become white? Because he likes to molest children.

why did the hater hate? everyone else has a much better life

What did the boy say after he stubbed his toe? Owww! I wanna have sex!!!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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