Birdie Birdie in the Sky, Left a message in my eye ... So I shot the little bitch

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Why didn't the cat have any legs? Because it was a snake

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What do Kobe Bryant and a toaster have in common? They both rape white women. Except for the toaster.

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Roses are blue Violets are buckets this poem makes no sense Washing machines

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What did the bird say to the fence? Chirp.

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What's worse than r-a-p-e? Gang r-a-p-e.

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Why did a mass amount of people move to Florida? They came to murder their children and get away with it.

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Kid: My dad's brother has gone at it with a lot of women. Friend(sarcastically): Geez that's great! When was he born? Kid: '69

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What is Rebecca Blacks favorite resurant? T.G.I Fridays...

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The Chinese government. The way they treat their citizens just isn't funny.

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What has two legs, but can't walk? Half a dog.

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yo momma is so fat she ate the rest of the joke

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What's worse than waking up next to an ugly girl? Waking up, sealed in a coffin which is floating on a raft traversing through shark-infested waters. Oh, and the raft is on fire.

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A duck walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender realizing this is an odd situation, seeing that ducks cannot articulate the English language, realizes he must be dreaming. He wakes up and turns to tell his wife about the dream, but she won't respond. He then realizes how his marriage is in shambles...

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What do you call a black man? Black

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What's green, yellow, and red? A traffic light

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue The end is near I want a beer

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Knock Knock *Opens door* Hi John, you got here right on time!

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What did the boy with no arms, no legs, and cancer get for his birthday? AIDS

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Chuck norris is seen standing outside a bakery in Paris holding numchucks. He just finished lunch

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Roses are red, violets are blue. Your definitely a virgin, too bad your mom isn't too.

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Matrix if it had been with (as planned at some stage) with Will Smith. Normal Neo: Yes trinity lets find the others. Smith Neo: Yo pretty lady, lets go find them ho`s and chicken and stuff, then we can like go surfin and driving nuts and all that crackin stuff and then we etc etc. Normal Neo:... Smith Neo: You tellin ME this is your world Smith? Im Anderson yo and the one, Im gonna bitchmack you all and then just whoop you all with my master blaster no kidding buddy I have yellow belt Kung fu yo! Neo: We have to do something. Smith Neo; Yo unless we make a real rap video first we cant do the proper stuff you, why is this place all so green, get some colaaas! Seriously first we get carlton and then he dances his crazy dance while I go boyAAAAAAAAAAAAAAZ with my rap ok?

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A guy walks into a bar. He has a couple beers, gets in his car and goes home. He got arrested on the way because it is illegal to drink and drive.

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If your scared of paedophiles..... grow up

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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