Whats black and blue and red all over? An infant after its been beaten with a bat.

You're such a baby, that you are still in diapers! Ew! How would you know creep!

how do you know if an asian gang has been to your house? 1. your computer is unplugged 2. your homework is finished 3. they are still trying to back out of the driveway

"It smells like Up dog in here." "How do you know what the dog from the movie "Up" smells like? It's computer-animated and not real." "I...I think I have a brain tumor..."

Guy 1: What is long, hard and full of semen? Guy 2: A submarine. Guy 1: No, my penis.

What do you call a big hungry duck? A duck thats hungry and big

What do you call a black priest? HOLY SHIT!!!!

What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick

what do you call a bird that is gay bird a gaybird

whats worse than worldwarII world war iii

How long does it take for a dead baby to explode in the microwave? I don't know; I was too busy masturbating.

Knock knock Who's there? NYPD you are being placed under arrest come out with your hands up.

why was the man on the roof? he was about to commit suicide.

What do you get when you mix monster, coke, and and seltzer? Kicked out of stop and shop.

Dear crush, I want to drink you

Why did the boy fall off the swings? He had no arms.

Q. Whats does the kid and the dog have in common? A. The kid has Herpes.

How can you tell Santa is racist? He doesn't give Africans presents.

What do you call a pig that just took a bath? Clean!

Wanna hear a clean joke? I took a bath with bubbles. Wanna hear a dirty joke? Bubbles is the girl next door.

Why do jews love money so much? Because money is very valuable and everyone loves it.

What's worse than getting hit by a bus? Getting hit by two buses.

Mugger: Give me all your money. Victim: No. Mugger: Okay. (Moves on to find his next victim)

Why couldn't little Tiffany play kickball with the rest of the kids during recess? Tiffany is a pencil.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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