My gifts to my gf included: A diamond ring, a sports car, a house in malibu, a new credit card, a private jet, but most importantly, a Refrigerator.

What does have stripes, give milk and can fly? A zebra, a cow and an eagle.

God said onto john "come forth and receive eternal life" john came fifth and received a toaster.

What's black and white and red all over? Michael Jackson after being hit by a train.

roses are blue violets red im color blind vatalk is gay

like this if you think what ever you want to..

So this guy walks into a bar, & says "I'll have a beer"........ Yup

Why did the boy trip over the garden gnome? He didn't trip. He died of a burst artery.

He is outside, running for it, Erron, seriously who is We? I thought you where an author.

What do you get when you don't wear protection? A baby.

A guy walks into a bar. NOT!

epic win?

Whats worse than the holocaust? Ryan

What does a black man love more than anything? His family you racist c u n t.

why did the chicken cross the road? because he was trying to kill himself in the fastest and easiest way due to his drinking problems, which in the first place separated him him from his wife, who is fighting with him in court for custody of there only child ,Steven. He can not even pay the rent on his apartment or hold a job to pay child support..he is also in debt.

A loving father took his two children to the park for a picnic. while the children went into the lake for a swim he drowned them both

Jesus sacrificed his life to prove that he was immortal. So where does the part where he gets nailed to a stick and beaten the shit out of fit in?

your mother is so fat that she got brain damaged from cardiac arrest and now needs medical care for the rest of her life.

Yo momma so old some said act ur age and she dies

A white, black, and Hispanic man walk into a bar at 2:00 in the morning. Unfortunately the bar closed at midnight, so they were charged with breaking and entering, and were sentenced to 2 years in prison.

A postal worker creeps past a sleeping bulldog. The dog does not wake up, and the mail is delivered successfully.

A duck walks into a restraunt and sit's down at it's table. The waiter asks what the duck would like to eat. The duck says "I'd like a tasty, healthy meal that will help me lose weight." The waiter says "How about the rocket salad?" So, the duck orders a rocket salad, eat's it, pays his bill, and leaves.

A woman walks into a bar but is promptly returned to her kitchen by an officer of the law. Later that same evening, she is beaten mercilessly by her husband for her outright disrespect for the social restrictions imposed upon her gender.

A fat cat sits on the ground staring up at a fence. The fence stares down at the cat and laughs.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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