- Anti Joke

If somebody chucks skittles at you saying taste the frickin rainbow Run over them with a car and say "NationWide is on your side!!! ????

Why does it take 7 years for Harry Potter to kill Voldemort? Voldemort is a very powerful wizard and Harry Potter is just learning magic at the beginning so he is not prepared to fight him.

You had 10 bricks on an airplane, you throw one. How many do you now have? 9. How do you get the elephant in the fridge? Open the fridge put the elephant in. How do you get the giraffe in the fridge? Open the fridge, take the elephant out, put the giraffe in. There was an animal meeting, all animals were invited. Which animal was missing? The giraffe, because he's still in the fridge. An old woman wants to cross a river that was full of crocodiles. How does she cross without getting eaten? The crocodiles were at the animal meeting, so she got across safely. She dies anyways. What happened? She was hit by the brick.

A man is on his way home from a business trip and walks into his house. He is quite as to not wake up his wife or kids. He gets to the bedroom to find his wife in bed with the neighbor. He is shocked at what he came home to and decides to file for divorce. She was a stay at home mom and loses everything because of the divorce. The man woke up from his horrible nightmare and kissed his wife on the cheek. She has always been faithful. He decides to tell her about the dream and, for insurance, emphasizes the part where she loses everything in the divorce. They happily live out the rest of their lives together.

Do you know what kind of world I dream of? Until you tell me, no I don't. How could I? I'm not telepathic, after all.

mary had a little lamb its fleece was white as snow and everywhere that mary went this joke has no punchline

Roses are red violets are blue suck my and I'll you too

A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

What did the man with cancer say when he got hit in the face with a crowbar? "Ow."

What happened when the Mexican lays his head on a pillow? He falls asleep

What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? Cancer.

What's the worst thing about African poverty? The fact that there is no foreseeable solution to the problem of millions suffering.

A man walked into a bar. I shot him

why did the monkey fall out of the tree? because it was dead. why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? because it was stapled to the first monkey? why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? peer pressure.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a registered sex offender

"Knock knock!" "Who's there?" "Interrupting Owl." "Interrupting Owl who?"

Whats the difference between a loser and a winner there places

I am dyslexic

What happenswhen a geman shepard jumps into a lake? it gets wet

whats the difference between ebola and a can of dead babies? i have ebola. this isnt funny at all.

What is worse than finding your parents dead? You being charged for the crime.

The t rex said to the textbook ............. Im not going to read you

a red boat and a blue boat collided all the survivors still have nightmares to this day

s

If somebody chucks skittles at you saying taste the frickin rainbow Run over them with a car and say "NationWide is on your side!!! ????

Why does it take 7 years for Harry Potter to kill Voldemort? Voldemort is a very powerful wizard and Harry Potter is just learning magic at the beginning so he is not prepared to fight him.

Do you know what kind of world I dream of? Until you tell me, no I don't. How could I? I'm not telepathic, after all.

mary had a little lamb its fleece was white as snow and everywhere that mary went this joke has no punchline

Roses are red violets are blue suck my and I'll you too

What did the man with cancer say when he got hit in the face with a crowbar? "Ow."

What happened when the Mexican lays his head on a pillow? He falls asleep

What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? Cancer.

What's the worst thing about African poverty? The fact that there is no foreseeable solution to the problem of millions suffering.

A man walked into a bar. I shot him

why did the monkey fall out of the tree? because it was dead. why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? because it was stapled to the first monkey? why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? peer pressure.

Anti Joke

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book

MOAR??

Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a registered sex offender

"Knock knock!" "Who's there?" "Interrupting Owl." "Interrupting Owl who?"

Whats the difference between a loser and a winner there places

I am dyslexic

What happenswhen a geman shepard jumps into a lake? it gets wet

whats the difference between ebola and a can of dead babies? i have ebola. this isnt funny at all.

What is worse than finding your parents dead? You being charged for the crime.

The t rex said to the textbook ............. Im not going to read you

a red boat and a blue boat collided all the survivors still have nightmares to this day

s

If somebody chucks skittles at you saying taste the frickin rainbow Run over them with a car and say "NationWide is on your side!!! ????

Why does it take 7 years for Harry Potter to kill Voldemort? Voldemort is a very powerful wizard and Harry Potter is just learning magic at the beginning so he is not prepared to fight him.

Do you know what kind of world I dream of? Until you tell me, no I don't. How could I? I'm not telepathic, after all.

mary had a little lamb its fleece was white as snow and everywhere that mary went this joke has no punchline

Roses are red violets are blue suck my **** and I'll **** you too

What did the man with cancer say when he got hit in the face with a crowbar? "Ow."

What happened when the Mexican lays his head on a pillow? He falls asleep

What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? Cancer.

What's the worst thing about African poverty? The fact that there is no foreseeable solution to the problem of millions suffering.

A man walked into a bar. I shot him

why did the monkey fall out of the tree? because it was dead. why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? because it was stapled to the first monkey? why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? peer pressure.

Anti Joke

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book

MOAR??

Roses are red violets are blue suck my and I'll you too