A priest, a rabbi and a scientologist walk into a bar. They discuss their various religious viewpoints until the scientologist gets a call informing him of his mother's death. The priest buys him a drink. Then the priest gets a call informing him of his mothers death. The rabbi buys him a drink. The rabbi gets a call. The scientologist expects it to be about the rabbi's mother dying, so he prematurely buys him a drink. It was actually the lottery commission telling the rabbi he won 48 million dollars.

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a red boat and a blue boat collided all the survivors still have nightmares to this day

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3 guys were caught trespassing in a field and were sent to jail. The cop asked the first guy, "What were you doing in the field? He replied, "I was blowing bubbles" The cop asked the second guy, "What were you doing in the field?" He replied, "I was blowing bubbles" The cop then asked the third guy, "Lemme guess, you were blowing bubbles too? The guy replied, "No silly, I am Bubbles!"

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What did the Atheist say in church? His best friend's eulogy.

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HOLY SHIT!!!!

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What does Yoko Ono say while rehearsing her song before a concert? She gives directions to the band.

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Justin Beiber's Talent.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm not good at rhyming turd

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The Earth is a nice place to live.

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a group of jews went to a factory to apply for jobs. Only one came out.

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Did you hear about the guy who lost his arm and leg in a car crash? Well, he just died in hospital. RIP.

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What does the fox say? Nothing a fox is incapable of speech.

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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why did jonathan not get any presents for the holiday?because it was the 4th of July

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What did the blackman say to the whiteman???? Nothing! They both commintted suicide

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a penguin biked to a bakery he walked in and asked for buns the baker said how many 12 or 13 the penguin said it don't matter I brought my bike

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whats the difference between ian bothom and david gower? shredded wheat.

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Why did Sara fell off her swing? She has no arms. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sara

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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Q: What do you call men at sea? A: Sailors

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Why did the boy have glass in his mouth? Because he was chewing on glass.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock knock. Who's there? THE CHICKEN!

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A horse didn't walk into a bar. The door wasn't big enough

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Have you heard the one about the monkey who jumped off the roof? Neither have I.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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