YOU

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A boy with cancer decides to go skydiving for his 18th bithday. Unfortunately, his parchute doesn't work & he dies before he hits the ground.

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Bill: Knock, Knock. Sean: Who's there? Bill: It's your neighbor, Bill Walters, from across the street. Sean: Oh, hey Bill, how are you and Margie? Bill: Oh, I'm doing fine, but Margie just got out of the hospital for a broken arm. Sean: My gosh, what happened. Bill: She was just loading the Halloween decorations down from the attic while I wasn't home and fell. She's fine though; it was only a minor fracture. Sean: Well thank goodness she alright. Bill: Anyway, I came over to return those hedge clippers I borrowed from you last month. Sean: Oh, thank you. How did they work? Bill: Just great once I gave them a coat of oil. It was a big job... I haven't trimmed those bushes in three years. Sean: Yeah, these clippers have belonged to my grandfather, father, and me. Bill: Darn, thats quite amazing, I wish I could get a pair of those, but I doubt they still make them. Sean: I'm pretty confident they don't, but you can borrow these anytime. Bill: Thanks Sean thats very generous of you. Sean: No problem, I almost never use them myself. Well I better get back to Jeanie...I'm helping her make dinner. Bill: Alright, Well thanks again.

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Why does Sally sell sea shells down by the sea shore? To support her growing crack addiction that is ruining Sally's and Sally's families lives

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Why is motorboating so much fun? Because they are unmatched for their speed and agility in the water.

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Continents are large islands.

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A group of blondes rent a car and decide to drive to Disney World. Along the highway, they see a sign reading "Disney World left." They exit the highway, turn left, and enjoy their well-deserved vacation from practicing law.

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What's the difference between a whore and a blonde? There is not enough information to answer this question.

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Why did the little boy fall off the swing? I throw a refrigerator at him.

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Why did the man yell? Cause he wanted to!

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Whats worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into a worm and finding an apple.

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A young boy asks his father if there will be cake at the party. The father tells him there won't be and tells him to f*ck off.

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what do you find at the top of mountains? things

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Why did the car's airbag go off? He hit a boy eating his ice cream

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what do you get when you use heroin aids.

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Fun Fact: If you lay out all of the veins in your body out, You will die

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Q: how do you make a clean naz dance? A: put a lil boogy in it? NOOO SUCK IT!!!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? They had a sale on dresses on the other side.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends how hard you throw them.

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Why did the blind boy cross the road? Why? The world may never know. He was hit by a bus

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Teacher: "Kenny, what is the biggest mammal on land?" Kenny: "A stranded whale."

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Q. Why did Steve Carell, the 40 year old virgin, fail to get laid? A. Erectile Dysfunctioning.

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How did the man with no legs get around? He was assisted by a nurse or relative who was kind enough to take on such a task.

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What is 5 brittish guys who can't sing and horrible music make .... one direction

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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