Teacher: which vegetable makes your eyes water? Student: Any vegetable. Teacher: How? Student: Just rub any vegetable in your eyes and see what happens.

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Yo momma so fat that when she sat on the bible jesus poped out.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting stabbed.

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what do you get when you cross a baby and a car a baby shaped dent, and a dead baby

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knock knock who's there? doorbell repairman

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Q: What did the homeless man get on his Birthday? A: Hypothermia.

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What do you call a middle-eastern man flying a plane? A pilot

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What happened to the chinese man who walked into a wall with a boner? He hurt himself.

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(In a job interview) Interviewer: Name a time when you've failed sometime Me: I failed an HIV test last June, anything else?

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There once was a boy. On his birthday, he got a small puppy. The puppy was white and had big eyes. Boy loved his puppy and the puppy loved the boy.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? She didn't have any arms.

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Iif your reading this ur gay

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What's worse than seeing Charlie sheen in a Turkish bath house? Watching the direct tv commercial for the 100th time today

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Why did the black guy buy watermelon? It was on sale.

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Your dads dead. lol

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What happened when the chicken crossed the road? The Farmer immediately noticed the oncoming car and flagged it down so the driver would stop and he could grab his chicken and carry it safely back to the coop

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4 hours later.

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What's the best thing about twenty three year olds? There's twenty of them

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roses are blue violets are red and just like you they're messed up in the head

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I ounce had a parrot it talked buy never said im hungry so it died

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A Jew, black person, and Mexican jump out of a plane, which one falls first? Who cares they all died

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Roses are red. Violets are red. Your garden's on fire.

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Why did Timmy stay home on the day of the big test at the public school? He was homeschooled

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One day, 2 people were gonna fight after school and then the final bell rung. Everyone gathered in the bathroom to watch the fight. The challenger asks the opponent, "Hey whats that one thing you say when you let the other person win?" then the opponent says, "I give up?" The opponent yells, "I win!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops