America Votes

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Knock Knock. Martha, get the door I'm watching the game!

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Whats worse than contracting H.I.V.? nothing

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how long does it take for a black woman to poop? depending on what she ate, about 5 to 10 minutes

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Why was school cancelled? Because the school was bombed.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was a terrorist.

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Why did the boy on stilts pick up the phone? Because it was ringing.

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What do the Holocaust and baseball have in common? They are sports, except the Holocaust.

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Someone else's cheese.

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Whats worse than the holocaust? A n a l

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How did Helen Keller become blind and deaf? Scarlet fever or meningitis.

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A black, asian, and white guy jump off a building, who lands first? Well, according to newton's law of gravitation every massive particle in the universe attracts every other massive particle with a force that is directly proportional to the product of their masses and inversely proportional to the square of the distance between them. It depends on who weighs the most

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26.5% of Americans are obese.

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What happens when a japanese boy goes into a planet called Zypharecion which is 2000 light years away with 20% oxygen and 78% nitrogen and 2% of other earthly air elements and heats up a balloon enough that it explodes? He wont be at that planet because it does not exist and travelling at the speed of light has not been proven possible for humans.

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A quadrapeldgic walks no where

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What was the Alzheimer patient favorite drink? What was the Alzheimer patient favorite drink?

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Butter. Butter who? Oh, um, sorry i forgot the rest...

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What did the prisoner receive on his 44th birthday? Well obviously all mail in prisons is checked, but nothing dangerous was found. He received a book on different types of steam engines (he is a railway fan), some chocolate (galaxy caramel, which is his favourite), a crossword challenge book (he gets bored in his cell) and the anti joke book.

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a jew throwing a dime into a wishing well.

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Q: why did the boy cross the road A: because he was being chased by a pedophile

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What do you call a black man flying an airplane? A pilot

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Why was the asian boy get straight A's? He paid attention during class, took good notes, studied at home, and had a personal drive that lead him to be a good student.

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What did the black man do with the woman's purse? Safely returned it to her

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A blonde walks into a salon and says "I would like to get my golden locks trimmed." The haircutter replies "surely, just sit yourself down in that chair over there and I'll be with you momentarily." The blonde walks to the chair and sits down. When the haircutter comes over he asks her, "would you please remove your headset, I can't cut your hair while they're on." She laughs at her forgetfulness and removes them obligingly.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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