How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if I had sex with your mother?

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your mama is so stupid i believe she will have a difficult time finding employment in these rough economic times

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What did the woman say to her husband after he came home from a late night of drinking? Nothing, because the last time she did, she got her ass beat.

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Three nuns walk into a bar. They realize they are in a place they don't want to be, so they leave, casting furtive glances around, fearing that someone from their congregation will see them and think they went in to drink.

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Two people on a boat, Pete and Repete. Pete fell off and Repete radioed the Coast Guard, who sadly got there just in time to watch him drown to his death.

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What did the man say to the attractive female bartender as he left the bar? Well, it's been fun but I hate you so I'm leaving to kill your entire family.

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Why was the asian boy get straight A's? He paid attention during class, took good notes, studied at home, and had a personal drive that lead him to be a good student.

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What did the deaf Jewish Rabbi say to the Italian Priest. What?

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Did you hear about the guy who fell off the mountain? Oh, well he died

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How did Helen Keller become blind and deaf? Scarlet fever or meningitis.

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A black, asian, and white guy jump off a building, who lands first? Well, according to newton's law of gravitation every massive particle in the universe attracts every other massive particle with a force that is directly proportional to the product of their masses and inversely proportional to the square of the distance between them. It depends on who weighs the most

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What's funnier than House? Family Guy.

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Why did the aeroplane engine fallon the house? Because of Donnie Darko

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penis

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Women's Rights

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What did the man want a car for his birthday? 7.

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how long does it take for a black woman to poop? depending on what she ate, about 5 to 10 minutes

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A blonde walks into a salon and says "I would like to get my golden locks trimmed." The haircutter replies "surely, just sit yourself down in that chair over there and I'll be with you momentarily." The blonde walks to the chair and sits down. When the haircutter comes over he asks her, "would you please remove your headset, I can't cut your hair while they're on." She laughs at her forgetfulness and removes them obligingly.

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Why can't Jay cut his hair? Because he has AIDS

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Ever since I've been using chloroform as cologne I've been getting laid a lot.

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What black and blue and red all over? My mom after my dad comes back from the bar.

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Why did the women hit the telephone pole? There are many theories but one suggests that it is due to womens statistically lower cognitive spacial reasoning abilities.

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It's black, and when it falls out of a tree, your refrigurator is broken. Your refrigurator.

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Whats worse than falling down the stairs? Falling UP the stairs.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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