- Anti Joke

Terry was always struggling with mathematics. On his last report card he received a D- in math. His parents were naturally very upset with him because they knew their son could do much better and so did Terry. Terry wanted to make his parents proud so he buckled down and started studying on a regular basis. Terry realized his had work had payed off when his 3rd grade teacher handed him his report card. Terry had revived an A in math! On his walk home from school all he could think about was how proud his mom and dad were going to be. On that walk home Terry was savagely torn apart by an escaped lion from the local zoo. His head was never found.

Whats the difference between a blonde and a sloth? Everything. The blonde is a human being and humans are way different than sloths.

Knock Knock Who's there? The police. The police who? Your family have been involved in a fatal accident and we need you to come and identify the bodies.

Two pretzels were walking down an alley way, one was assaulted. In a instinctive move, the other quickly ran away and alerted the authorities. The assaulted pretzel was severely injured but slowly recovered covered from physical trauma and has now sought professional help to deal with it's great deal of post traumatic stress.

Why was Edgar sad at the swimming pool? Edgar had been taking swimming lessons for a few weeks, on a tuesday-thursday basis, and was not learning how to swim as well as he would have liked. His instructer, Ms. Herpina was also very rude and generally disrespectful to Edgar. As a result of him seeing the lack of progress, and his dislike of his teacher, one day he quit going to his lessons and went to the local Dairy Queen instead with his girlfriend, Susie. Little did he know, his mother had also gone out to buy him DairyQueen, as a celebration to him becoming better at swimming. When she saw him at Dairy Queen, she was very angry at her son, who had lied to her about going to that days' lesson, and had also lied to her about not having a girlfriend. After his mom told his girlfriend that they couldn't date, she took a distraught Edgar to their small apartment. Edgar had always hated this apartment, ever since the first day they moved in as a result from the lack of money to afford a nicer area. After his older brother David stole all that money from his mother to buy drugs a few years back, his life hasn't been the same. His mother was forced to move into an apartment with few luxories, and Edgar was constantly jealous of his friends at school, especially Jason, the dark haired boy who always bragged about how good he was at his PSP games. Edgar only wanted happiness for at least a little while, but was quickly forced back to the pool. He was embarassed at the fact that he couldn't swim, and all the popular girls at the pool were making fun of him. It had been a rough life for Edgar, and he was still only seven years of age. This, my child, is why Edgar was sad at the swimming pool.

What do you call the fear of anteaters? Stupid.

whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? finding two worms in your apple

What do you get when you cross a rock and a paper bag? A rock inside of a paper bag.

womens rights.

whats funny about this joke? nothing.

Why did you fall? Because of my buttcrack.

A kid walks into a ctholic school and asks about the therory of evolution.

What do you get when you cross a Pigeon with a Mailbox? A Carrier Pigeon, they are extinct now.

Biggest lie in America: Sorry, that was my last stick of gum.

What starts with P and ends with ORN? POPCORN

Why wasn't Steve paying attention in class? Because he was dead.

What's red and bad for you teeth. A brick

Roses are red Violets are blue Peas are green Plums are purple Thieves are black

What do you call a white guy? A caucasion man.

So a blonde walks into a wall...

whats worse than a paper cut? 2012

What did the widow get for mother's day? A miscarriage

what did the boy with cancer get for Christmas? AIDs then he got mugged on the way home from the hospital

How did I do in the running events? Not that good, I'm a paraplegic.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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