How do you poop without it splashing? clench clench, release, clench clench, release, clench, release, clench, release.

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Why did the two blondes decide to ride in one car? Because it's more environmentally friendly than taking two cars.

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Why was the little girl sad? She had a grown man sexually assault her.

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Why do black guys have ashy elbows? Because of 9/11

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Why was Diana crying? Because she was penetrated.

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What's the difference between my father and my mother. My father isn't an alcoholic

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends on the training and hence productivity of the babies.

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Why does Rupert the Bear wear chequered trousers? Because that's how the creator originally drew him.

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A man walks into a bar. He is knocked unconscious, and passers-by rush to his aid.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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What's long, hard, and full of seamen? An ejaculating penis.

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Larchmont Park is the biggest shithole in the european union - Only the jippo part tho, lots of flies live in that part <3

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Why did the women leave the kitchen? She didn't, women belong in the kitchen.

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The last person on Earth is sitting home alone when suddenly there is a knock at the door. Knock knock Who's there? *silence* Damn this joke got creepy...

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How did the chicken cross the road. He didn't he was ran over by a bus.

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Every zoo is a petting zoo if you're not a pussy

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The New York Giants

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Dear Six, Please stop spreading rumors about me and nine. I hear you two also do some pretty nasty things. Love, Seven.

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why did Sally fall off of the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there?

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"Smithers, I'm home!" "What, already?" "Yes."

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roses are red violets are blue ill keep u in my heart forever and ower baby to

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Pikachu walked into a bar. "GO, SQUIRTLE!" the bartender screamed. An epic Pokémon battle ensued, after they got drunk. The end. Pika pi!

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My friend and I were telling jokes the other day. Ha said " I've run out of dead baby jokes!" to which I replied " I've run out of dead babies."

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A rabbi and priest both go into a bar... and they each had a responsible number of drinks before walking home.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops