Why was the Pizza Delivery boy crying? He was sad.

Why was the little boy inside the house instead of playing with his friends outside? His dad just died from cancer.

Why did Hitler kill so many Jews? Because he didn't like them.

How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood?  The woodchuck's ability to chuck has been left indeterminable. Therefore until the wood chuck's prowess in wood chucking is brought to light we must leave it a variable. Using the coefficient (L) to represent wood that can possibly be chucked. Then using (C) to represent the life cycle of said wood chuck chucking. We are also assuming this woodchuck will remain vigilante and not require food or sleep for the entire duration of chucking ultimately lowering is maximum chucking output. From this we can determine the W.C.P.S. (wood chucks per second). Finally subtract the remaining wood (RW) from the chucked total and we have rendered that :  L(W.C.P.S) - (C -RM/t) = X

The Charlotte Bobcats winning more than 10 games

what do u call blue fluff? blue fluff

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "why the long face" The bartender then sees the horse's broken leg and proceeds to buy him a free drink.

A man walks into a bar, he now has a mild concussion

What's the difference between a watermelon and a baby? One is fun to smash with a sledgehammer. The other is a baby.

Q) How do you get 100 midgets into a Mini? A)You have to manufacture a Mini large enough to accommodate 100 midgets. It wouldn't be street-legal, but at least the problem of getting 100 midgets into a Mini is solved. Q) Did you hear about the two guys who wanted to go to Paris? A) They didn't go! Q) Why did the boy throw his Television out the window? A) Cause it was completely broken. Q. What's the difference between a duck? A. An orange. <<< This is the ultimate tough anti-joke Q: What is red and smells like blue paint? A: Red paint. Q) What did the Hobo get for Xmas? A) Nothing

What's the difference between 15 dead babies and a cadilac? I don't have a cadilac.

Why was the boy in hospital? He fell off the bus and was run over by many cars.

Teacher- And that is why the Pythagorean theorem only works for RIGHT triangles. Any questions? Student- I like grapes.

Ask me if I'm Abraham Lincoln. Are you Abraham Lincoln? No.

What do you call a half-Latino, half-Asian baby? The product of a healthy interracial couple.

Roses are red. Violets are blue. So is my eye. I get abused.

Why did the girl fall of the swing? Because she was shot in the face by a lone gunman.

What is green fuzzy and can kill you if it falls out of a tree? A pool table

Don't wake me up. If you wake me up then I will give you a puppy. Just wait until you fall in love with the puppy, because then i will kill it in front of you.

How do you make a Chef cry? You kill his family.

Why do we oftenly see african cry for nothing? Because this is the only way they get water.

A negro named Kanye walks into a Tavern... He's stoned to death.

What's the difference between your mother and a mallard with a cold? One's a sick duck; the other regrets having you as a child.

did you hear the one about the elephant with a screwdriver? me neither...

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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