How many British people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: Two. One to screw in the lightbulb, and one to hold the flashlight because the room is probably dark.

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What do you call a man with a fork stuck in his head? A man with a fork stuck in his head

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Why did little Sally fall off the swing? Because Sally has no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? Not Sally.

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who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Osama Bin Laden

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How do you make a clown stop smiling? Hit him in the face with an axe.

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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Sigh... You know life, you start all optimistic and "I am going to be wealthy mommy and stuff" Then you know, life turns not quite out like you planned it, and, well, you wish you had made some other choices you know what I mean... Your grades where not that good, that girl you really loved did not like you back, you know what I mean right? ...Well I don't, how is it like?

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 beat the crap out of 8.

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How do you make a unicorn? Jab a stick through a pink horse and name it Liam

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Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven is a registered sex offender

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What did the baseball coach say to his son? Nothing. He was dead.

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A person from Singapore eats

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What did the fish say when it was being fried? That's crazy, fish can't talk.

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How do you kill a black man? You drop a fridge on him.

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What's large and blue? Probably quite a few things.

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What does a bird and a human have in common? They both use long, hard sticks.

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A man walks into a bar, purchases a beer, and leaves.

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What's the difference between a blonde and a carrot? One's a human, the other's a vegetable.

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What the difference between a mexican family and a bench? The bench can support the family

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? eating the worm causing it to breed inside of your body later causing them to eat you internally

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An alphabet walks into the post office and asks for a letter. What does the postal worker give the alphabet? Nothing. Alphabets can't walk.

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What do you call a plane going to Africa with 100 black people on it? A plane, the contents of the plane is irrelevant...

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Ain't idn't a word.

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So a cat a dog are in a field.The dog then proceeds to eat the cat and take a nap

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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