Someone threw a cigarette at me today... What a fag.

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Why did the asian lady buy the large shirt instead of the medium? Because the medium didn't fit

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Q: What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs, living in the mountains? A: Cliff Q: What do you call a girl with no arms and no legs, living on the beach? A: Sandy Q: What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs hanging on a wall? A: A victim of a serious crime, where murder was committed and the killer has a sick and twisted mind because he first cut off the man's arms and legs then nailed him to the wall with wooden pegs. Puppies.

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Q. what sucks A. getting robbed loosing your family and then you die by cancer

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What's the difference between your mother and a mallard with a cold? One's a sick duck; the other regrets having you as a child.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I've got Alzheimer's Cheese on toast

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Why was Dr Who unable to travel back in time using the TARDIS? Because it's just a television prop. It isn't a real time machine.

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What do you call a black man holding a stone with bloody hands A hard working stone mason

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How many electricians does it take to change a light bulb? One.

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A man walks into a bar. He suffers a fatal concussion and the playground is shut down by local police until proper padding is installed.

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Why was 7 afraid of 6, because 6 raped 5

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Your momma is so fat that when she fell over, she couldn't get back up without help, and she probably got several bruises.

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Gingers.

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Your mamma's so obese that she can't stand up. She's been like this for years. That's because she's dead. She died of cardiovascular-related diseases.

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whats green and has wheels? a green tractor.

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What do you call a tree with no branches? A stick.

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why was little timmys mother so upset on mothers day? Because he had been abducted earlier that week

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Why did the elephant fall on the marshmallow? Because he didn't want to fall in the hot chocolate!

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A Christian walks in into a bar . . . mitzvah.

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A man walks into a bar and notices a twelve inch tall man playing a small piano. He asks the bartender about it. The bartender explains that the pianist has worked there for some time, mostly performing on weeknights. The bartender also tells the man that he may be suffering some vision problems, as the pianist is about 5'8" or 5'9". Some time later the man visits an optometrist and finds out he has a severe case of astigmatism.

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What is brown and sticky? A lot of things are brown and sticky

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Why was the iPhone screen cracked? Because it was dropped on a rock.

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Bill: ask me if i am three ducks in a man suit Jim: are you three ducks in a man suit? Bill: yes

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops