hi i'm a dick, i mean mitt romney

If you eat a brussel sprouts-and-ketchup sundae, your tastebuds will likely turn purple and move to France, where people don't eat brussel sprouts-and-ketchup sundaes.

Q: What is worse than getting stung by a bee? A: Your breath. Please have a mint.

Poop!!

there was a turkey sandwhich..... a ham sandwhich.... and a bologna sandwhich..... they had a short conversation before they were eatin by a fat kid

A duck walks into a bar. Then he walks out.

why did the semen cross the road? i wore the wrong sock today.

When Chuck Norris does a push up, he pushes himself up which puts resistance on his arms and therefore strengthens his arm muscles and performs physical exercise.

What did the penis say to the vagina? Cover me, im going in.

What do you call an asian who celebrates Christmas? A christan

I got pissed off at my little brother... So I threw him out of the window.

what's black, white, and red all over? A nun in a blender

Q: Why doesn't the Mexican belong in St. Louis? A: Because he ran away from home, his family lives in Kansas City.

Roses are black Violets are black Everything is black —Stevie Wonder

MORTAL KOMBAAAAAT BETA 0.3!!! DUDUDUDUDUDUDUNDUN Kano, Kano, Kano, Uh, some asian guy? Kano Kano, Kano, some black guy in the future, Kano, Kano, etc. MORTAL KOMBAAAT BETA 0.3!!!

Why did the baby bird have no friends? Because he chose not to socialize with the baby birds.

Why did the downy jump off a cliff? I told him to.

Dogta I don got da aids yeah? Well Sigh... Man I am so sorry, I got the positive, and the uh.. Good news... Whats the good news? I hate you! Whats the positive news? You dont have teh aids.

A man walks into a bar. He enjoys a few quiet drinks with friends before returning home to his loving family.

What did the man say to his friend? Hello.

Did you hear that the actress, Reese what's-her-name, got stabbed to death? Witherspoon? No, with a knife.

Do you have emotional issues, ever have a really bad day and just wanna talk call this number (402-314-5287) < N1GGER

why did the black man rape the little girl? no reason, its just a part of life. oh well

Why is there an owl out during the day? I don't know.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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