Q What did the Whale say to the Giraffe? A Why are you in the ocean?

Roses are red. Violets are violet. Violet is a color already.

Why did Jimmy eat the apple? Because he was obese and needed to eat healthy because his doctor suggested it.

Knock, knock. Who's There? The Fire Department...

THERE'S THE IDENTITY THIEF GET HIM!

"Whooaaa Momma." - Says Johnny Bravo

What sound did the man make? Splatt. He fell off a building.

Nathaniel Nugnes walks into a bra

A black man checks his watch. He sees that its 3:50, and calmly carries on with his day.

Its alright for you to act like a bitch but its not allright for me to call u one

Why did the whale rape a guy? He wanted to see what would happen.

What's green, grows in my basement, and if fun to smoke? Mold. I lied about it being fun to smoke.

Whats worse than losing your keys? Your entire family dying in a preventable house fire.

What/s funnier than 24 dead Jews? 25 dead Jews. What/s funnier than 25 dead Jews? 6 million dead Jews. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

What does it mean when you see a bunch of blacks running in one direction? That you need to be more specific.

A blond walks into an electronics store. Then she promptly walks out, as she got the wrong store.

What's worse than having a zit on your face? Getting blue waffle.. google if you don't know what blue waffle is..

why did the man die? he had cancer

A man walks into a bar. He then takes a step back and notices that his head hurts.

If you're paddling upstream in a canoe and a wheel falls off, how many pancakes fit in a doghouse? None! Ice cream doesn't have bones!

What is white and re(a)d all over? White paper that is dyed red.

1 I've been diagnosed with-- 2 I don't give a f*ck, go die in a hole!

Why do ducks have flat feet? To stomp out forest fires Why do elephants have flat feet? To stomp out flaming ducks

how do you stop a speeding car? Put your foot on the brake

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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