What`s the difference between a dead baby and a pencil? I don`t keep a pencil in my backpack

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What's worse than stepping on a piece of gum? A clown following you around all day throwing toothbrushes at you. ___ Zertop™

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What's cooler than being cool? An object at absolute zero

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Why did John get hard? He froze to death

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I`m not as random as you think i`m salad.

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What do a fish, a can of asparagus, a spool of thread, and a car tire have in common? Nothing.

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What does a carrot and a potato have in common? They're both not chocolate

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You have now entered Automatic Breathing Mode

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My computer crashed today I was watching porn.

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Your mama is so stupid she has an IQ lower than an average person.

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Doctor Doctor i've got wind can you give me something? Thats not wind the doctor replies thats a rare form of stomach cancer.

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Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

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You make me believe in myself, after all, it takes one to know one, I just wonder what I am, what are you?

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The WNBA is on the cooking channel

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Why did the women cross the road? I dont know.. why? no clue.. why was she out of the kitchen

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have you seen ray charles' house? neither has he.

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A squirrel and an owl are sitting in a tree. The squirrel turns to the owl and says nothing, because it is a squirrel and squirrels can't talk. The owl turns to the squirrel and eats it, because it is a bird of prey.

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one day a white guy was in detroit. it was very strange. nothing happened

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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I'm Stephen Hawking, and I'm a PC. I can't walk or talk, and I'm a Stephen Hawkings

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What's brown and ryhmes with snoop? Dr. Dre

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead

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How do you get a camel out of a desert? a helicopter

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A father walks in on his kid masturbating to pictures of horses and promptly divorces his wife.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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