A duck walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender realizing this is an odd situation, seeing that ducks cannot articulate the English language, realizes he must be dreaming. He wakes up and turns to tell his wife about the dream, but she won't respond. He then realizes how his marriage is in shambles...

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Sarah Jessica Parker walks into a bar. Several occupants leave as they realise the danger of the large animal.

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why did jimmy's mom fall off the cliff? i dont know.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue Poems don't have to rhyme

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Why did Steven Hawkins die? he got a virus

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Why did Chuck Norris start crying? Because he was in a coma

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Why did the Japanese boy drop his sushi? He was hit by a tsunami

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roses are red violets are blue i'll be back in an hour or two

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So your a murder, and you show everyone your knife. what do you do, easy just chat with them.

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i like my coffee like i like my women... Without a penis

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when life givs you lemons you say no thank you i dont take food from strangers

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What's brown and rhymes with snoop? Dr. Dre

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how did Andrew meet adele He was working as a stableboy

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Why are black people afraid of chainsaws? Because chainsaws are potentially dangerous weapons that may inflict bodily harm.

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What did one man say to the other? "hi other man"

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Why did the little boy cry? His entire family was shot and killed at his elementary school play including his 6 year old sister who has down syndrome.

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Why did the chicken cross the road. ... It didn't.

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What is the answer to the question of life? Over 9000

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A man is in prison and one day his cellmate offers to help him escape. The cellmate tells the man to quickly hide under the covers on his bed and that he'll instruct him further once the security guard passes. The man is then raped. Savagely.

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why was the asian kid the only one to get an A+ in the test? He spent the longest time studying and was therefore better prepared than the other students.

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What did the amputee get for chritmas? A bicycle

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Mind magic for fuck ups: Did you know you can train your dog to magically arrive by saying YOUR name! Just tell it what your name is a lot and voila! Moral: made me laugh, fuck the rest of you XD

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I treat women like I treat dead bodies. With respect.

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Who was sorry when the fat kid fell over last year? The whole of Japan.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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