A man finds a magic lamp and rubs it. A genie appears and says that he will grant him 3 wishes. The man says "I wish for a duck". POOF! He got a duck. Then he says "I wish for a penguin". POOF! A penguin magically appears. He thought long and hard for his 3rd wish. Then he said "I wish I had a turtle" POOF! Suddenly out of nowhere the genie disappears. The man looked inside the magic lamp and saw a small turtle. The end.

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What did the man's ex-wife told him after their divorce? "Build a bridge and get over did" And so he did because hes a contractor that specialized in structures spanning and providing passage over a gap or barrier, such as a river or roadway

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have ADD Oooh a cloud

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If everyone in China jumped up and down at the same time they would lose all credibility as a nation for organising such a pointless excursion.

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Q: Why did the Japanese man fall off the cliff? A: He was pushed

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What did the suicide bomber say to the other suicide bomber? You're da bomb!

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Steven Hawking walks into a bar

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Not again!"

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If an old person falls in the middle of the woods do they make a sound? No their died.

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What do you call a blank white sheet of paper? Printer paper most likely

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What happens when a women becomes pregnant? She gives birth to a child 9 months later.

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So an alien walks into a bar......... and everyone runs away secreaming because theres an alien in the bar.

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Roses are red Violets are blue God makes things beautiful... What happened to you

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THIS ONE TIME MY DOG ATE A WHOLE CHEESECAKE

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Knock Knock! Who is there? I am the milkman and I have your milk.

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How many dead babies does it take to fill a bathtub? 17.

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Why did Daphie die? I stabbed her 487 times.

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So a cat a dog are in a field.The dog then proceeds to eat the cat and take a nap

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What does a bird and a human have in common? They both use long, hard sticks.

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What's the difference between a blonde and a carrot? One's a human, the other's a vegetable.

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A duck walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender realizing this is an odd situation, seeing that ducks cannot articulate the English language, realizes he must be dreaming. He wakes up and turns to tell his wife about the dream, but she won't respond. He then realizes how his marriage is in shambles...

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Ain't idn't a word.

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What do you call a cow without legs? Disabled.

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How do you kill a black man? You drop a fridge on him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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