what bounces and is blue all over? a blue bouncy ball

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You walk by a boy and see he is playing with poop. You ask the boy what are you doing? He says I'm building a office. You ask him why he says "because I don't have shit to make a building"

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how many babies does it take to paint a house depends on how hard you throw em

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why didnt the old man go to his sons birthday he died.........nah i lied he went went

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Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling.

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Why is a jewish man so tall? Genetics

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? cause it was dead...

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What's black & sits at the top of the staircase? A quadriplegic after a house fire.

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Old McDonald had a farm. He grew corn there, and got reasonably wealthy. Then he retired to the Bahamas.

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What did little Ben's mom give him for Christmas? Nothing. She died last month

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If you play The Binding of Isaac backwards, it's about a boy who summons Satan in hell and ascends multiple floors and eventually revives him mom by sucking in tears. He eventually becomes less of a monster until going back to his home and living hapily with his mother, completely forgetting anything had ever happened.

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A kid who lost parents is called an orphan and a wife who lost her husband is called a widow. What do you call parents who lost their child? Free on the Weekends.

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A man finds an antique lamp at a garage sale. He takes it home and polishes it, and a majestic genie materializes. The genie thanks the man for freeing him from excruciating slavery, shakes his hand, and returns home to his overjoyed family.

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You say: Why did the chicken cross the road? Response: Why? (or some other answer to a different joke) You say: To get to your house! Knock, knock. Response: Who's there? You say: The CHICKEN!!!!

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I just flew in from Seattle, and boy is their airport difficult to navigate.

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What's worse than the holocaust? An open-minded black man.

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What smells like diarrhea and looks like poop? A rotten banana.

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A black man is driving a nice car when he's suddenly pulled over by the police. "Do you know why I pulled you over?" asks the cop. "No officer" replies the black man. "You have a taillight out. However I'm going to just let you off with a warning because you seem like an upstanding citizen. Have a nice day."

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Why did the Quantum chicken cross the road? It was already on both sides.

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Roses are Red, Violets are blue, most poems rhyme, but this one doesn't.

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Know what's worst than getting raped by a giant scorpion? Obama

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When's the worst time to use skin moisturizer? When you're a burn victim.

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What's nice and looks like a rat? Ryan Kavanagh, I lied about the nice part

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why am I who i am, and you are who you are? dick spice

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops