Bacon is delcious.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side!

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What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

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Knock Knock Who's There? The police- we are sorry to inform you that your wife and only child was killed in a brutal car accident earlier this evening, We offer our condolences.

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What is green and has wheels? Grass. I was just lying about the wheels part.

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Chuck Norris counted to infinity; by calculating the sum of a divergent series.

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What happens if a girl punches a guy? A white man in prison, convicted of sexual assault.

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What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhino? A one-way ticket to Hell for messing with God's creations, you heathen!

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Whats the difference between a sack of babies and a sandwich? A Sand which floats when you put it into a large body of water.

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Q: How did the Irishman die? A: He was old.

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Q: What's blue and smells like baby. A: A choking baby.

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How can you tell if a man has an erection? His penis is no longer flaccid

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How do you get 100 midgets into a mini? You have to manufacture a mini big enough to accommodate 100 midgets. It won't be street legal, but at least your problem with fitting the midgets in the mini is solved.

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Haikus usually make sense, but sometimes they don't refrigerator.

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I went to the doctors the other day for a check up and the doctors says to me "sorry your going to have to stop wanking" and I say to him " what! Why?" and the doctor says "I'm trying to examine you".

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Knock knock. Who's there? Louis. Louis? Go away!!! Your jokes are so bad! Geez, you guys really don't like me. GET OUT!!! (Door slams; Louis shuffles away with a sad look on his face) -Louis

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The first few weeks of joining weight-watchers...you're just finding your feet.

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Pull my finger ouch..

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How do you confuse a blonde? Wait...what?

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What's worse than finding a hair in your soup? Slavery.

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What's blue, wriggles around, and sits in a corner? A dying baby in a plastic bag. What's green, doesn't wriggle around, and sits in a corner? A Christmas tree. The current homeowners were never made aware of the atrocity committed by the previous occupants.

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What is more worse than death? Death

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roses are red violets are blue i use refrigerators to keep my food cool

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says: Why the long face? The horse says: I'm a horse. We have long faces.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops