Q: Did you hear the joke about the deaf kid? A: Neither did he.

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Why was the fat kid the last one to lunch? He'd had lead bricks stapled to his ankles by the skinny kids.

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When life gives you carrots, don't make carrot juice, because it's gross.

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A man goes into the doctors office for his yearly checkup. The man waits patiently for several minutes until the doctor is ready to see him. After about ten minutes pass, the doctor is ready to see him. The man enters the doctors office. He passes all of the necessary tests. The doctor and him talk for a while. After a few minutes, the doctor says, "Okay, thanks for coming. See you next year." The man thanks the doctor and leaves.

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What do you call a Mexican playing basketball? A man of hispanic heritage that enjoys the sport of basketball.

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Uh... What was emulating again?

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what did the 14 year old boy get for christmas? nothing because he his sitting in prison for killin his parents and is serving a life sentence.

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What Do You Call The White House When Obama Is President? What? The White House.

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Why Couldn't the pirates see the movie? Because the mall strictly enforced local curfew laws ; and one of the pirates was unable to provide a valid form of identification.

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Why did Bob wear a jumper and trousers even though it was a very hot day? Because he is an idiot.

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A bear walks into a bar. Animal control was contacted and the bar was evacuated.

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Why did the baby cry? His dad was holding him upside down over a fire.

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Your grandma's cookies.

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How many black guys can fit in a minivan? Eight.

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Why didn't the man buy the sportscar? He couldn't drive stick

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A brown park bench was bought. After multiple years the color had faded, and the bench was no longer the same shade of brown.

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"Have you guys ever seen Derrek Ashmores sisters? They are DTF if you know what I mean" - Jesse Ziegenbein

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what happened to the atheist when he died? he went to HELL

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What did the Polack do in the rainstorm? He got wet.

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What's worse than a truck full of dead babies? Trying to sell a used truck with dead baby stains all over it.

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Cool Brian

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Q:What the difference between a piano and a guitar A: Nothing, there both instruments and i lied about the difference

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What color is the white cup? It's blue because it has two handles.

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Why did the butcher have blood on his hands? He murdered his daughter.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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