Why did the pied piper eat tea half past three? Because the chicken tripped on the way across the street and the fat lady didn't sing.

What do a duck and a bike have in common? They both have handlebars...except for the duck

Your mom is so poor that she can't even pay attention.

Why was the Energizer Bunny arrested? He was found guilty of two acts of murder in the first degree.

For no reason at all Pac-man was being chased by evil monsters while eating his luch...He choked on his food and died

A man looks both ways before crossing the street. He gets hit by an airplane.

If at first you don't succeed, go kill yourself

A young blonde walks into a bar and orders a shot of tequila. After about a few minutes she spots this very ugly man with one leg. The man just so happens to sit right next to her and orders a drink. The man reeks of cockroaches and he looks like a homeless man that hasn't bathed in months. They never talk and the blonde goes home.

Why did the man fall of his bike? He wasn't on his bike, i drowned him yesterday.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Cancer

KNOK KNOK WHOES THERE APPLE APPLE WHO SEE THIS IS Y U BROKE UP

What's the best way to cross the road? Ideally with your feet and legs because disabled people usually don't recommend their unfortunate state of affairs. However there are other alternatives which may or may not be better than common or garden walking, such as crane hire - crossing in a crane bucket in a safe spot; chauffer driven limos, which don't do the straight, direct route, generally; and being carried on a replica of Cleopatra's carry couch (but with modern suspension, unless you prefer the up and down motion).

What do you call a blonde prostitute your bitch

Why do Mexicans get made fun of? Because they are Mexican

I'm a champion. I do what I want.

What was the black guy doing in Mississippi? Just hanging around.

What do you do when life gives you Oranges? You make lemonade and life wonders how you did it

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead

A guy walks into a bar, has a few drinks with his mates and gets highly intoxicated.

whats hard, its not what you think a penis

There's three sisters: a blonde, a brunette and a redhead. They know she's not they're real mom.

Why did the little girl keep running into things Because she was blind

What do the world and jelly beans have in common? Nothing.

Did you hear about Osama Bin Laden? Well, he's dead.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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