Why did jimmy cross the road? Because that was the direction the cannon was pointing.

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Your mama's so hairy, the only language she knows is wookie.

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Q. How do you make time fly? A. It is highly impossible to make time fly for there is 24 hours in a day, 60 minutes in an hour, and 60 seconds in a minute so therefore the time flows how it should and we do not have such power to do it even though many people claim they do when they know they really don't

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Nothing, shit went down so bad.

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Warning: Are you 16 and curious and stuff? DO NOT SNIFF YOUR SISTERS HEAVILY PERFUMED PANTIES! Because you know hormones, and then 18 years later she uses the same perfume and... Yeeah.. ITS HORMONES! DON'T PRETEND YOU NEVER SMELLED A PUSS... Well, nevermind guys, I believe you :)) PS: By DO NOT, I mean DO! I mean just make sure you dont get your mothers panties, your sister is gonna be like "Omg you are such a perv you and your dick always up my face!" Then you can go all like "yeeeaah you wish!" Moms panties? Seriously man, that is just sick! You need to get some self respect!

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What's worse than failing your midterms? Child abuse.

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when life gives you lemons throw them away.. they are probably bad

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how does an Arab scare someone He does a countdown

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wanna here a good joke? me too.

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What do you call a dog with 5 legs? A dog with 5 legs.

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How many babiess it take to paint a house? Depends on how hard you throw them.

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When geese fly in the "V" shape, why is one side longer than the other? There are more geese on that side.

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What is the difference between a black man and a pepperoni pizza? One can actually feed a family of 4.

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what do you call a black man on the moon? an astronaut.

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what do you get when you cross ruddell with a chicken? still a prick

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Q: What do you call it when you get shot in the face 20 times with a shotgun? A:Nothing, you're dead. Q:What do we call it when you get shot 20 times with a shotgun? A: A blessing.

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What happened to Bilbo? He shit his pants.

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what did one mute say to the other? Nothing.

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Q: What did the Black Man say to the Mexican Fellow Guy? A: Hello.

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Q: Did you hear the joke about the deaf kid? A: Neither did he.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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God made rivers God made lakes God made you We all make misstakes

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Why did the banana explode? Because it was a grenade!

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Q: When do you know you've had to much to drink? A: When the zebra in your belly button starts talking to you

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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