A mermaid walks into a bar, but she has no legs, so she flops over and proceeds to drag herself into the bar.

Why does a clown wear makeup? So you can't identify him to police after he shoves your kids in his tiny car and drives away.

Why do basketball players wear bibs? They don't.

What's funnier than a dead baby? An episode of 'Friends'.

A dog walks into a bar. The owner got a fake service dog identification and everyone really enjoyed it.

What happened to the man who lost his job? He couldn't support his family so they all became homeless and eventually died of starvation.

What hurts worse than a papercut? Divorce.

Jim bean takes out a can of- Let me guess- No.

Why was the Microsoft fan happy? Because Steve Jobs died.

What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One is something I love to eat, the other is a watermelon.

Why did the black man have a Lamborghini in his garage? Because he got good grades in school, was accepted into a nice college, and earned a medical degree, which he used to get himself a well-paying job in the medical field.

Two homeless men are baking in an oven. They scream loudly until they both die.

I remember my grandfather's last words he said to me before he kicked the bucket...."Hey, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?"

the best thing about an anti-joke is when the punch line doesn't hit you, you feel no pain

What do you call a monkey holding a hand grenade? It depends on what its name is.

What is life? It is a sexually transmitted disease which always ends in death. There is currently no known cure.

So I was walking down the road today

What did the girl get with no arms and no legs get for christmas? Cancer.

10 mexicans were driving in a car and went off a cliff. what happend? No one cares.

i went to the bar. soon after i entered the bar i got kicked out. why? becuase i'm seventeen.

Why did the Asian drive his car into a tree? His contact fell out.

Why didn't Jimmy ever get his butt of the couch? His butt was nailed to it and he was also dead. Why didn't his parents save him? they died before he did.

ARE YOU READY?! ARE YOU READY FOR LOVE!? YES I AM, AH! ARE YOU READY?! ARE YOU READY FOR LOVE?! The judge did not find the Elton John song worthy of negating the statuary rape charges and sentenced him to nine years in jail.

What happens if a girl punches a guy? A white man in prison, convicted of sexual assault.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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