why did the goat go up the ladder? because its ladder goat

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Q: If it takes a chicken a day and a half to lay an egg and a half, then how long would it take a monkey to kick the seeds off of a dill pickle. A: I don't know. That's a stupid question.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No. Well neither has he.

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Why is The stop sign bent? Because a ambulance full of sick kids hit it.

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Why did the weiner dog have a bad childhood? Uncle Monty put his foot up its arse on a daily basis before chewing dorris's nose, ears and eyelids.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I have no idea, and neither does the chicken, for chickens do not possess the ability to reason.

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What smells like satans pubic hair and dresses like a woman? Vinny Trolia

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Why did the car slow down? Becuase the driver pressed the break

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Q: What's the best way to eat lasagna A: With a fork, although a spoon is a fine substitute

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So a platypus walks into a bar. He orders a drink and then goes home drunk. His wife doesn't approve of his drinking, so she took her children then left. The lonely platypus wandered around for days on end in the lonely silence. He realized he wanted a job, but he couldn't get one, and i lied. it wasnt a platypus. it never even haooened i wasted your time.

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whats worse than getting ran over by a car seeing you mum having ***

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what happened when the chicken crossed the road? it didn't the hunter shot it

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I got a brother. He's bigger then you.

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How do you kill a blonde? By irreparably damaging a major organ. The same way you kill anything else.

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A student exclaimed "This test is a piece of cake!" He ate it.

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what happens when you piss on a dead monkey nothing you just lose the urge to pee O.o

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yo mumma is so smelly i can distictly smell her more than her perfume

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I love you! Haikus are easy But sometimes they don't make sense Squirrels are rabbid Yes mi this is a haiku!!!! I know ur reading this so grape grape grape

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And more;

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Why didn't little Jimmy eat his dinner? Jimmy didn't eat his dinner because there was no food. Jimmy is a poor street urchin who died of starvation.

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ronald wants to join a gym, they tell him to lose 20 pounds before coming back or else.....

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Lets just say that we are beyond the stage where I am "just" trying, by the way, you might want to search that last comment for double negatives. Or you know NOT NOT. Do not take my word for it, but if I am not wrong, the bacteria (yogurt) leaves afterwards, so you are eating milk that has been eaten and then.. You know... A common "side effect" of hypnosis, is that when it is used, the one hypnotized (both in this case) end up feeling a "strange" case of closeness, stronger bonds, friendship etc, scientists wonder why... ITS LIKE DUH! WE BOTH REVEAL DEEP SECRETS TO EACH OTHER! THINGS WE DO NOT EVEN USUALLY TELL OURSELVES! Its a literal no brainer, scientits can go fuck themselves, because as far as I know, thats the only fuck they ever get.

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-You know what will always get people fighting? -Hey, you wanna fight?

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Homonyms should be band.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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