What did the autistic man say to the woman? I have autism

thumb_up thumb_down +18

I hate all races.. Especially the 400 meter sprint

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What is just as real as a unicorn? World peace

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Hi im a joke i eat turtles

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What did the blind deaf kid get for Christmas? Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

[INSERT ANTIJOKE HERE]

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A black man walks into a bar. His parents were immigrants from South Africa.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Roses are gray Vilots are gray im a dog

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, Or so the tell me, Because I'm Blind

thumb_up thumb_down +16

How many times has Susie fallen off the swing? Not enough.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Q)why couldn't the baby talk? A)the baby was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A man walked into a bar, he was meeting his friends but was half an hour early, so he went down the road and got a burger. He had recently began dieting to maintain a healthy weight, but had trouble with self control. 30 years later he would gamble away his family's life savings and then go onto live a long and unfulfilled life.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What do you call when you see a man murder 8 black guys? The police.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Q: How many black guys does it take to black top a driveway? A: I can't give you a definitive answer unless I know the area to be covered, the thickness of material to be applied, and the capabilities of each individual working that particular day.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? He was shot. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? He was mentally disturbed. Why did the fourth monkey fall out of the tree? Peer Pressure

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Three gay men walk into a bar and there is only one three-legged stool. What do they do? --One man politely tells one of the other men to have a seat and then the two remaining men leave and have a one-night stand.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What's green and invisible? Nothing; green and all other colours of the rainbow have wavelengths that occur specifically in the visible range of the electromagnetic spectrum. Therefore any invisible object cannot be green.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What do you call a black fire-fighter? A hero.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why do girls have bumps around their nipples ? -it's brai for suck here .

thumb_up thumb_down +16

scenario: two teddy bears wrestling under water question: how many apples does it take to tussel with a potato answer: 96 becouse pillows dont eat chease

thumb_up thumb_down +16

I met a hot girl in the Tampon aisle and i asked if she wanted to hang out in 5-7 days

thumb_up thumb_down +16

How many times can the Frenchman cheat on his wife? I don't know.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Once there was a frog. My parents died.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops