How are trees and friends alike? They are both subject to fall when struck with an axe.

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[INSERT ANTIJOKE HERE]

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What did the blind deaf kid get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Roses are gray Vilots are gray im a dog

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, Or so the tell me, Because I'm Blind

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What is just as real as a unicorn? World peace

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A black man walks into a bar. His parents were immigrants from South Africa.

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Hi im a joke i eat turtles

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How many times has Susie fallen off the swing? Not enough.

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Why are black people afraid of chainsaws. Because they have razor sharp edges and can slice through flesh very easily, posing a potential threat if possessed by a violent person.

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How do you fit a billion llamas into a box? you dont

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How many cows does it take to swim on land? 4.2

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Me: You want pie? You: Yeah what flavour? Me: Pie flavour.

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A man walked into a bar, he was meeting his friends but was half an hour early, so he went down the road and got a burger. He had recently began dieting to maintain a healthy weight, but had trouble with self control. 30 years later he would gamble away his family's life savings and then go onto live a long and unfulfilled life.

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What do you call when you see a man murder 8 black guys? The police.

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Q)why couldn't the baby talk? A)the baby was dead.

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Three gay men walk into a bar and there is only one three-legged stool. What do they do? --One man politely tells one of the other men to have a seat and then the two remaining men leave and have a one-night stand.

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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Q: How many black guys does it take to black top a driveway? A: I can't give you a definitive answer unless I know the area to be covered, the thickness of material to be applied, and the capabilities of each individual working that particular day.

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What's green and invisible? Nothing; green and all other colours of the rainbow have wavelengths that occur specifically in the visible range of the electromagnetic spectrum. Therefore any invisible object cannot be green.

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What do you call a black fire-fighter? A hero.

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How many times can the Frenchman cheat on his wife? I don't know.

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Once there was a frog. My parents died.

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Why do girls have bumps around their nipples ? -it's brai for suck here .

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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