What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

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Sigh, visit me with a pack of condoms, that is so romantic... Now you tell me something, how old are you REALLY and what is your real name? Oh yeah, my first name is Tifa (I know you hate it for some reason), and I am turning 24 in 30 days.

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At home, 3:20 pm - Close eyes for 10 mins, it's 3:30. At school, 3:20 pm - Close eyes for 20 mins, it's 3:40 and schools been finished for ten minutes.

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Whats worse than bitting into a apple and finding a worm? Being the worm who just lost nearly half his whole house because some jerk decided to eat an apple on the ground, whom after eating the apple destroyed the worms self-esteem by making the comparison to the worse thing possible. Or being raped by Zeus in the form of a worm.

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What did the bi-polar girl do when she found our her ex-boyfriend was living with another woman? Nothing; she was happy for their new relationship and realized life changes and moves on, in addition to taking the daily appropriate amount of medical prescription as directed by her doctor.

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A Muslim walks into a bomb shop. Unfortunately for the bomb shop owner, the Muslim was a police officer. He proceeded to arrest the owner and the employees of the store, as it turned out that the selling of these particular explosive devices were illegal. They ended up in jail, and justice was served.

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Why Did sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? No reply cause Kyle got knocked out by the door.

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Whats the difference between a baby and a trampoline? I take off my shoes to step on trampolines.

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What did the pineapple say to the apple? Nothing, neither can speak.

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I'd like to make this joke funnier but I can't. It's stupid. I don't even like it.

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Q: What would happen if you didn't sleep all night? A: You would probably be really tired and start seeing things and speaking strange sentences as a result.

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Why did the little and energetic girl fall down? Because I snapped her neck.

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Whats worse than a bullet in the head? i have no idea, i have never been shot in the head so i'm not sure what to compare it to.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didnt, it was hit by a car

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A man walked into a bar. He was only 19, but technically a man. Underage drinking is not O.K.

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i homeless man asked for ome change. he didnt get any because people were afraid he would spend it on drugs

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What did the baseball coach say to his son? Nothing. He was dead.

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What is worse than the Haulocost? Running across Africa with KFC

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What do you call a man with a fork stuck in his head? A man with a fork stuck in his head

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Q:what is long ,black and red but smells like poo.? A:poo from someone dying of bowel cancer.!

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who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Osama Bin Laden

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What happened when the ugly girl asked her crush out on a date? He said yes. He found her personality quite attractive

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What's wheels and has green? Lied, I grassed about the wheels.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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