Why did the woman spray a black man in the eyes with pepper spray, then promptly run away? Because the woman was a notorious criminal and was currently robbing the man's house, but was caught in the act so she used pepper spray as her last line of defense while she fled from the scene before the man could call the police to detain her and put her in prison for her crimes.

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How did the fat guy servive the plane crash??????? He bounced

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Why are butt pirates butt pirates? Because they just ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR FRUITS

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

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What's long, brown, and runs across a family's backward? A fence.

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Your mother is so classy, when I asked her to order at a fast food drive through she decided to park the car a eat inside.

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KARMA KARMA KARMA KARMA CHAMELEON

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What Do You Call The White House When Obama Is President? What? The White House.

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I couldnt remember who Rhiana used to date. Then it hit me.

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A man goes into the doctors office for his yearly checkup. The man waits patiently for several minutes until the doctor is ready to see him. After about ten minutes pass, the doctor is ready to see him. The man enters the doctors office. He passes all of the necessary tests. The doctor and him talk for a while. After a few minutes, the doctor says, "Okay, thanks for coming. See you next year." The man thanks the doctor and leaves.

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How many black guys can fit in a minivan? Eight.

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What computer sings the best? A Dell? No a Mac, because they are the superior computer.

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A Jew walks into a furnace.. The bartender says "What'll you have?" The Jew wonders why there is a bartender in this furnace, then they die.

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Prince of bell air with Keanu Reeves: SMIIIIIIIIIIITH! DID YOU DESTROY MY COUCH? Neo: ... WELL DID YOU BOTHER CARLTON DOING HIS STUFF? Neo... Will you shut up then? ... Intro: This, is my story, read the text, thank you.

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Why didn't the man buy the sportscar? He couldn't drive stick

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Your mamma's such a whore, she sleeps with men who pay her.

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This is not funny.

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Why did Bob wear a jumper and trousers even though it was a very hot day? Because he is an idiot.

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What do you get when you shoot 3 cute kittens that have just walked into the house? 3 dead kittens

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What do you call a Mexican playing basketball? A man of hispanic heritage that enjoys the sport of basketball.

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Cliterus

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Two scientists walk into a bar. The first scientist says, "I'll have some H2O." The second scientist says, "I'll have H2O too." The bartender gives them both water, realizing that H2O2 is poisonous and that the second scientist must have simple worded his request poorly.

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You know what's catchy? A cold

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Adam and Eve ate the apple and felt a bit ashamed and stuff. God looked upon them and said, well its just a fucking apple get outta here you kids! Adam and Eve also took things a bit too literal

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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