- Anti Joke

How many mexicans does it take to change a lightbulb? Juan.

What's the difference between a car and a sack of dead babies? I don't keep a car in my garage.

Why did the boy fall off his bike? Someone threw a fridge at him.

noah is a scrub jungle

What do you call a large group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

A man wakes up in the hospital after being in a car accident. He begins to yell "Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!" The doctor hurries into the room to find out why the patient is yelling. The doctor then promptly explains that this was due to the crash severing his spinal cord and rendering him paraplegic for the rest of his life. The doctor after explaining this states he'll never walk again, before leaving the patient's room.

There's 2 guys in a Y shaped road. One road leads to a cliff with deadly alligators below the river. The other road leads to the village. You can ask both of the guys one question to which leads to the village. However, one guy always tells the truth and the other guy always tells a lie. How do you get to the village? GPS

Nero was my name thousands of years ago, but I believe that those With clearer sight, brighter minds, those you remaining WITHOUT the sense of Complete doom, oh children of the night, know far better, turn to my side, and sheep you shall be no more, together we shall be Whole once again, the sheperd of this New world! Thumb this up if you have seen the signs... Thumb this up if you have seen the sins... ...End up buried under the corpses of everything you knew if you have no vision in this New dawn of ages endlessly darknening, and pretend that the internet will be there, or that the horsehead network ever mattered to you for that matter... :You say insanity today, sunday 27th January 2016, you will be the one running, begging that Our world is but YOUR INSANITY, a nightmare, which only Death will awaken you from

Why did Suzie get raped? because she was out past her bedtime. and the morale to this story is that its funny to be raped.

why did the photographer take so many pictures? Because he gets paid.

what did the boy with no arms and legs get for chrismas ? cancer

What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

Would you believe me if i said... ^^^^ You read that line wrong?

Why wasn't Steve paying attention in class? Because he was dead.

Why couldn't the little girl see in the dark? She had no eyes.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Chickens don't have the cognitive capacity to reason. So you'd never know

Knock knock. Who's there? The mailman. I don't believe you.

Q: Why can you not thumb up your own comment? A: "You've already voted" douche...

Suicide Johnny and the Go Kill Yourselves

Why did the old man die? He died because he saw the light wich happened to be a street light in the distance.

Why does Rupert The Bear wear checkered trousers? Because he's a twat.

what is worse than losing your phone? having it destroyed because you were texting while driving causing an accident and you are not eligible for and upgrade for another two months.

Why can't Susie jump rope? Because she has no arms. Knock knock! who's there? Not Susie.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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