Whats worse than the holocaust? Finding your babies head in a microwave

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A man walks in to a bar. He was hospitalized and died later that day.

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Why don't women wear watches? In the technologically advanced age that we live in, the watch is rapidly being replaced with other electronic devices that tell time, such as cell phones or iPods.

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Take My Wife- Because as it stands, I'm having frequent, toe-curling, unprotected sex with your wife. And that just doesnt seem fair.

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Q:I finished my Homework A:thats what she said

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What's red, blue, green, yellow, pink, purple, orange, teal, light green, brown, black and white? Colours, except for black and white, for they are the absence and amalgam of all colours, respectively.

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A: How do you make a fire with two sticks? B: Ask your mother, we did it last night.

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Hey, I just met you and i am crazy, but? here's my room key let's make a baby.

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Three a man is trapped on a desert island and a genie offers to grant him one wish. The man accepts the existence of the genie and then wishes for unlimited wishes for the rest of his life. The man takes over the world.

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Why did girl cry? Because she recently saw the messy demise of her parent's marriage.

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Oh

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What has 4 legs and goes "meow." A cat. Dang! You already heard it.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse says, "I have cancer."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The pen was left open, and it felt slightly curious.

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How are a duck and a tri-cycle the same? They both have handlebars, except for the duck.

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i did not type this on 12/23/11 at 8:49:47

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A kangaroo walks into a bar, he hops up to the bartender, and asks for a martini. The bartender, not knowing exactly what to do, goes into the back to his boss's office. He says "Hey, there's a kangaroo up front askin' for a martini...do we serve kangaroos?" His boss replies "Ya, of course, but these kangaroos, they aren't too smart, so charge him like 50 bucks for the drink." The bartender agrees and goes back up front to serve the kangaroo. He pours the martini and hands it to the kangaroo, the kangaroo thanks him and says "How much do I owe you?" The bartender replies "50 bucks." The kangaroo then reaches into his pouch, pulls out a fifty dollar bill, and puts it on the counter. He finishes his drink and begins to hop away. As he is leaving, the bartender says "Hey, wait, we don't get many of your kind around here, why is that?" And the kangaroo replies "I'm not surprised at THESE prices!!!" and hops out.

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An insane individual walks into a bank and asks for $500. The teller refuses since he doesn't have an account, so the individual pulls out a gun and asks the teller again. The teller presses the silent panic button, causing the cops to show up and arrest the gunman, but not before he manages to shoot the teller and the small child standing next two counters over.

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What did the Dyslexic man write on his Christmas card? Merry Christmas

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A man walks into a bar. He says, "Ow, that really hurt."

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How do you kill a blonde ? Shoot her in the head

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How do you kill a blonde? A gun, knife, there are a number of ways really...

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road Because he did

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What came first?....the woman or the sandwich

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops