Knock knock Who's there? Prosti Prosti who? Prostitute

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How tall is oprah.. 5'7

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm ovulating

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Tom buys his wife Mary the latest Eco friendly car. The car is said to get well over 100 miles on a tank of gas. A week later, Tom is stunned to learn that while Mary was driving to the supermarket the car ran out of gas. The tank was full and Mary only drove 5 miles. How is this possible? Mary was involved in a horrible car accident. The gas tank immediately emptied and set fire to Mary and her baby.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? answer: Where's my tractor?

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Why did the chicken cross the street? Because the light was red and cars had stopped.

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What do you call a swimming pool full of black people? A family enjoying their holiday.

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In a tangential universe Crispin Glover is the head of scientology

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what do you find at the top of mountains? things

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Johny got a iphone ipad and a macbook. He bragged to his friend. His friend said, i got an apple.

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why'd the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead. why;d the banana fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the monkey.

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Q: What's worse than finding a hundred dead babies, in one bin? A: Finding one dead baby, in a hundred bins.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends how hard you throw them.

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A muslim walks into a bomb store. He is a police officer and quickly arrests the owners of the store because of the obvious legal violations.

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A chicken crosses the road and goes into a bar and recites the following poem: Roses are red Violets are blue Knock Knock Who's there? Sugar is sweet Sugar is sweet who? And so are you. The bartender was confused considering she's a blonde. A genie appears and says to the Mexican he'll grant him 3 wishes. The black guy, the white guy, and the jew were at the bar also. The priest was also drinking. They all had a great time.

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Q- Who is the life of the party? A- hannah schane

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A man had come into a bar. No wait, it was a horse. A man had come into a horse.

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What's white and can't climb trees? Yogurt

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What's as red as a Lobster? A Lobster

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Why can't Helen Kellen drive? She's a woman.

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A blonde walked into a bar.

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When life gives you lemons you mix them with vinegar to make a drink that will help your high blood pressure.

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A couple is playing chess. The man then chokes his wife to death, throws her body in a woodchopper, and eats her like cereal- Frost

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What's short, green, and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops