Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What do 69 and 420 have in common? That was my score on my Math final:(

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What's the differences between oranges? Trees don't have doors.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What state is round on both ends and high in the middle? Ocoloradoo.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What do you call a man with a gun? An accident waiting to happen.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

KONY 2012

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What did the black jewish homosexual say to the conquistador? Nothing as they were both from entirely different time periods.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

what happend to Helen Keller when she fell in a hole She climed out of the hole

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What do animals eat at the beach? Sandwitches

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the man's motorcycle not move when the street light turned green? Because it was a filing cabinet.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A woman wears a dress.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Q:What's better than getting 500 million dollars A:Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down +10

The Pope, Queen Elizabeth and a schoolboy are on a plane that is going to crash. It crashes and they all die instantly.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Have you ever listened to the smell of the color 9? It tastes like freedom!

thumb_up thumb_down +10

I bought one of those anti-bullying wristbands, when they first came out. Well, I say bought. I actually stole it from a short, fat ginger kid.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

how did i know i had a new puppy?...... i found out when i was scraping it off my truck tire

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Three women are sent to heaven. Theres a blond , brunette , and a redhead. There are 100 steps to heaven and on every step god tells you a joke and you cant laugh. The redhead makes it to step 23 then laughs. The brunette makes it to step 67 then laughs. Finally the blond make it all the way to the 100th step and before god can tell the joke she laughs. God asks why are u laughing? And the blond says " i just got the 1st one"!

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Whats white and blue and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? a fridge in a denim jacket :D

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms Why didn't Sally get back up? She had no legs Guess who's getting prosthetic legs for Christmas! Not Sally.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What is the difference between a black man and a burnt pizza? -Nothing there both black.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only 4 ways out of this airplane..."

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did the Asian say to the Mexican working at the friutstand? Hi, I'm Asian!

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Q: What do you call a black guy selling drugs? A: A pharmacist

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did Suzie get raped? because she was out past her bedtime. and the morale to this story is that its funny to be raped.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops