What did squidward do when SpongeBob asked him to be his friend on Facebook? 1.declined it 2.got a restraining order against him 3.wondered how computer generated cartoon characters could send and decline friend requests

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what do you wear at a funeral? white. lol jk black

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Who would win in a chess duel between Ender Wiggin and Artemis Fowl? Artemis Fowl will calculate the optimal path to move his pieces. Ender Wiggin will calculate the optimal path to kill the queen, so all the other pieces just sort of fall down.

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How do you make your friends more positive ? Infect them with HIV.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Probably because that's where all of the other chickens are.

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How did the old man feel when he couldn't have sex? Viagravated

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Three guys walk into a bar.....The fourth one ducks...

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Why was the Mexican man in the rich man's garden? Because he enjoys flowers.

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What's green and can read your mind? Nothing. Some people thinks the answer is a plant but don't listen to them because they are wrong.

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Knock Knock Who's there Me Me who ME LET ME IN

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What's more greasy than grease? Kevin's hair

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What do you call a bunch of black people buried up to their hair? Afro turf

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so a blind man walks into a bar, then a chair, then a table.

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Why isnt Gemma a Surfboarder? .. Because She was a Stillborn. Why isn't Kate a Ballerina? Because She's paralysed. Why isnt Tommy an Olympic High Jumper? Because He's a dwarf.

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A bear and a rabbit both take a dump in the woods below an old oak tree. They look at each other, smile and nod their heads in acknowledgment of one another. The bear is first to let go of his rather large load and a loud THUMP is heard throughout the woods. Shortly after another and then another. The rabbit looks at the bear for a moment then turns closes his eyes and begins to strain. Finally the sound of what can only be described as a machine gun rattles through the wood. Looking impressed the bear looks over at the rabbit as it pops off its last few pellets. When the rabbit is finished the bear asks "Do you have a problem with the shit sticking to your fur?" The rabbit thinks for a moment then looks at the bear and says "Umm... No, not really." So the bear uses the rabbit to wipe his arse.

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what's white and 10 inches? nothing....

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Q: Wy did the Araib cross the road? A: To open another gas station.

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Q: How many dead babies does it take to fill a mixing bowl? A: There is an infinite amount of answers to this question depending on the sizes and shapes or the dead babies, so lets assume that an average would probably be about 4 babies that dies just as the left the mother.

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Why did the man suddenly burst into flames in room. The room was dark, so he lit a match. It turns out there was hydrogen in the room and when fire touches hydrogen, it sets on fire.

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Why did the sheriff cross the road? Cuz I told him to.

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Yo mamma is so fat that she is likely to consume large amounts of food regularly.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He wanted a car to kill him so he can get to the other side with his wife and son. In other news,I had a very nice chicken cutlet and scrambled egg dinner.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Im a Jew, Fart yourself.

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If God created the world, including man kind, why do we worship him? We are corrupt, selfcentered, animal slaughterers. He made us this. So, Why?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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