So I was walking down the street the other day, I went to the shop.

A: What did the Orange say to the Mango? B: Sup Hommie?! A: Wtf.... (awkwardly walks away)

Don't quote me on this Nero, but she kinda deserves it, she should know better, its not like you have gotten this far by not knowing your limits, even if you tend to break them way too often. Can you get rid of the hallucinations with your mind alone? If not get to sleep asap! And stay asleep for a month or so, and if they somehow cant feed your system intravenously, they can all get the fuck out of there.

Why was the man in the kitchen? Because his wife was raped and killed.

I need a side cart on my motorcycle just for my diick

Do you want to hear a good anti-joke? Well I don't have one.

There was a big guy he was called Mac. So Mc Donalds turned him into a burger

Roses are black, Violets are black Everything is black I can't see

Why did the chicken cross the road? He crossed the road to get to a podium. He then made a lond speech about how chickens should be able to cross a road with out having their motives questioned.

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A man... walks.

a korean man with no legs sits on a porch. He has no legs so it's considered standing

Why was the fat kid the last one to lunch? He'd had lead bricks stapled to his ankles by the skinny kids.

How many alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light bulb? To get to the other side

What's white, black, red, and flies? An airplane pilot with a battleaxe driven into his head

Psychics.

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead

guy walks into a bar.... Ouch.

Why was the cookie sad? It had just been eaten and is currently disintegrating in the hydrochloric acid of someones stomach.

Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue, I Can't Sing, Or Ryhme

What's the easiest way to load dead babies into a tractor trailer? Pitchfork.

Ask me if im a tree. Are you a tree? No

What did the doctor say to the minority, parapalegic after he barely escaped a fire alive? You just got burned!!

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he wanted to, like any other chicken

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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