What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What do you call a fly without wings? A walk.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

There are two fish in a tank and one says to the other, "how do we drive this thing?"

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Once upon a time, there was a horse that had no legs, it laid on the ground it's entire life and died. The end.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A man tells the bartender," A bar walks into a man..." The bartender says," What the hell? I think you've had enough"

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What makes men cry? The realization that humanity is completely pointless in the infinitely expanding universe and thus any action to try and improve human life is also a complete farce.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

How many licks does it take to get to center of a tootsie pop? pickles, 7:00 pm, wood, shoulder pain

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Andy: Mom, I wish I was a dinosaur. Mom: Aw, that's cute! Why? Andy: Because dinosaurs do not suffer from terminal pancreatic cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What goes down well with whiskey? Pedestrians

thumb_up thumb_down +11

How do you know there's an elephant in your refrigerator? Look at your refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Your momma's so fat, she has just been diagnosed with Chronic renal failure.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the TV fall of a cliff? Because a nice man was donating it to the homeless shelter which hangs over a cliff. The man placed the TV in the back room on the floor. There was a weak spot on the floor and when the fattest homeless person walked over the floor, the floor broke which was a HUGE inconvenience because he TV and the fat man fell through the floor and over the cliff, luckily the TV was plugged in so it was hanging by the cord but an old lady with Alzheimer's forgot that there was a hole in the floor and unplugged the TV so she could clean the switches. In the end the TV fell off the cliff.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Knock Kock Who's there? Boo Boo who The ghost from Mario

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Kanye West walks into a bar. As he is a very popular celebrity, he is recognized instantly. The patrons mob him, asking for pictures and autographs. He is in a pleasant humour that evening, so he indulges them. Some laughs are had, he buys lots of drinks, and takes home two beautiful women. Such is the life of a celebrity. ...but that still doesn't make him happy.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

whats bloody and mingen Scabbaz head

thumb_up thumb_down +11

why did the boy die? because he got shot

thumb_up thumb_down +11

this is not an anti joke

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the black man fall off the building? The building was one of the twin towers and the event 9/11 was currently happening and he saw one of the planes coming at him so he decided to jump to his misery instead because he thought it will hurt less, also he thought that if he waited for the plane to hit him there is a possibility that one of the wings may hit him right on the neck and his head will get chopped off and he wanted to die with his body completely attached.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why couldn't Bruce drive a truck? Cause Bruce was a Fish.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the teenager drink a beer? Because it was actually full of sizzurp

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What did michael jackson say to the boys he touched? Nothing. Hes dead

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What lumpy and pointy? A horny woman with breast cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What's the difference between a car and a sack of dead babies? I don't keep a car in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

How many women does it take to arrange my new Ethan Allen furniture? Just one, I was told it was divorce present. She took it with her.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops