What's better then petting a lion? Petting a lion and not getting eaten

What's worse than a dead baby? 2 dead babies

What did Batman say to Robin just before they got in the Batmobile? Robin, get in the Batmobile

You know what's really long? The bread lines in Africa

knock knock whos there boo boo who why are you sad my wife has cancer

Yo momma so pretty,she gets a lot of compliments.

Yo mamas so fat she weighs more than other people

What did the daddy hamster say to the baby hamster? Nothing. Male hamsters eat their young.

How many ADD kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Let's ride bikes!

Did it hurt when you fell from heaven, or have you been in a wheelchair all your life?

Knock knock. MAN: Who's there? HOOKER: The hooker you called for. MAN: Oh, dear lord. My wife hasn't left yet. I need you to come back in fifteen minutes. WIFE: Honey, who is it? MAN: It's the hooker I called for, but you haven't left. I told her to come back in fifteen minutes.

why did the mexican cross the road? To get into America. Why did the chicken cross the road? It was on its way to warn everyone that the sky was falling Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass. Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? cause he's Chuck Norris. Why did the man get a check in the mail every month? Cause he's black Why did Obama Cross the road? Cause he lost control of congress why is there all this blank space?

What did the mute man say to the president? Nothing, he is mute

Why did the girl fall out of the swing? She had no arms.

A Rabbi walks into a bar. He payed for his drinks, tipped the bar tender, drank a few too many so he got a cab home.

woman..parallel parking

Why did the black man actually receive an education. Because he is entitled to one as a citizen of the world. Frederick Douglass, at the twenty-third anniversary of the Emancipation Proclamation stated that "Education, the sheet anchor to a society where liberty and justice are secure, is a dangerous thing to society in the presence of injustices and oppressions...." Douglass knew that in order for black people in America to survive, they had to be educated because it was the one area that could make the weak person strong and the black person equal. By the time the modern day Civil Rights Movement started, its leaders already knew that education was knowledge, and that knowledge was power. In order for black people to gain their equality, they would have to have a solid foundation to stand on, and that foundation would be education.

A: When was rhe last time you touched yourself? B: A few seconds ago when I had an itch on my arm

How do you get a clown off a swing? Hit him with an ax.

"Sh*t!" cursed the man. "You're such a potty mouth!" replied the unamused toilet.

Why was the man sad? His wife left

Chrysanthemums our orange violettes are musical

4

two scientists walk into a bar. one says, "i want h2o." the other says, "i want h2o too." the bartender gives them both water and nobody dies because he is not irresponsible enough to give someone concentrated hydrogen peroxide as a drink.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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