why did matt die? He had cancer

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penispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenis

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Doctor: You want the good news or bad news? Patient: Bad news. Doctor: You have terminal cancer. Patient: What's the good news? Doctor: You have AIDS.

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So you all no Dora right, well why is she always lost in the forest wit her friend boots? Whats the deal with the map everybody knows maps cannot talk!!!!!!!!!!!! What the heck is wrong with the makers of the show!!!!!!!!

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A tree fell in the forest. The person in the house it hit heard it.

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If three men were rowing a rowboat backwards across your front lawn, and six of the four back wheels fell off, how many pancakes does it take to cover a dog house? 17 because footballs don't have feathers.

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How do I get to Carnegie Hall? The address is 881 Seventh Avenue at 57th street in New York. it's beside the Russian Tea Room and almost directly across from the IESE school of business. The Russian Tea Room has a large bright red awning out front and a large carving of three dancing bears on the face of the building, the bears are covered in gold leaf. You can't miss it.

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Now that I'm of age to go clubbing, I feel sorry for the seals.

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Wanna hear something half funny 34.5

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A homeless man begged and begged for a dollar to buy something. A man finally gave him his dollar. What did the hobo buy? Nothing he walked into 711 and then got shot.

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I'm on the ABC diet. The ABC stands for: Americans British Chinese I eat humans.

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knock knock whos there? yo mama yo mama who? yo mamas mama!!

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wht does a blonde do with a box of crayons? eat a taco.

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What did Jean Luc Picard say to Data when he saw a broken Janome Overlocker? Make it Sew

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An Octopus walked into a bar. He then died as he had been out of his natural habitat for an exceedingly long period of time. An octopus can only survive on land for 30 minutes.

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Jesus can walk on water, but Chuck Norris can swim on land... it's called having a swimming pool

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Marla should be home by now, it's nearly 6." He was unaware he had lost his tractor until the next morning.

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Why did Billy fail his math quiz? Because he's stupid.

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A brunette, redhead, and blond were on a road trip. Their car broke down in the middle of the desert. The redhead offered to get help down the road, but never returned. The blond and brunette walked the direction the redhead went, but died four days later of heat exhaustion.

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A lawyer gets admitted to a bar.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue No they're not They're purple

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What do you call a person with no arms? Armless.

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What's worse than bombs? Nukes

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Why did the drunk walk into the bar? Because he has a serious drinking problem.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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