James Patrick Campbell

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A woman walks into the living room while her husband is watching tv. The husband tells her "Make me a Sandwich", so she goes to the kitchen and makes him a sandwich like shes told to.

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whats small and blue? a suffocated baby

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What's worse than being named SAID? Having AIDS.. And getting a bee sting - it hurts like ****!

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Whats red and looks like a bucket? -a red bucket Whats blue and looks like a bucket? -a red bucket disguised as a blue bucket

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Why are there clocks on stoves? Because it is a convenient way to tell the time.

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Knock knock Whos there? The Gestapo

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Roses are red, violets are red, everything's red... Retinal haemorrhage.

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how do you kill Lady Gaga? with a gun.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm allergic to both Now I'm dead

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its snowing on mount fuji

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Why couldn't the man see the camoflague iguana He could.

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What happen when a penguin walks into a bar? That is an almost impossible occasion. Penguins first of all waddle not walk and they only live in Antarctica and zoos, therefor they will not be able to enter one unless Antarctica becomes populated.

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There was 3 floors in a building. The man outside was watering plants. The man on the first floor was doing laundry. The man on the second floor was peeing out the window because the toilet wasn't working. The man on the third floor was cutting vegetables and accidentally dropped his knife out the window. Now, the four men all went out to tell what they did that day. The man on the third floor said that he was cutting veggies and dropped his knife out the window. The man on the second floor said that he got his wiener cut off. The man on the first floor said that he was just doing laundry. Then, the man outside said that he was watering plants and found a delicious sausage on the ground and he ate it.

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There once was a man who couldn't finish any sente

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What's worse than finding out you have cancer? Nothing... (The game.)

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How do you get really high at home? You climb a ladder

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There once were 2 cowboys who were lost on a dusty trail. Later on they found their way out and are now doing very successful

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Roses are black, Violets are black, and I'm blind .

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A Mexican, a black man and a Pakistani walk into a bar. Everyone immediately runs out seeing the potential danger in the situation that's about to unfold.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven is black.

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who would win in a gang battle? WEST COAST SWAG

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Mickey Mouse peed on a house. Just kidding. Micky Mouse isn't real.

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What did the man and woman do in bed together? Sleep.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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