What will you be doing right before you die? ... ... living.

What's the difference between George W Bush and a doorknob? George W Bush is the president of the United States. A doorknob is a mechanical device that securely closes a hinged door, thereby keeping your family safe from danger.

Knock knock Who's there? The police. Your husband has been killed in an accident.

What happened when an atheist burned down the home of a priest? He was arrested, charged with arson and sentenced to 5 years in prison.

Why did the person post a real joke with bad grammar and spelling on anti-joke.com? They didn't flippin' understand the point of the website.

How Do Bulls Drive Cars? They cant, they have hooves making it impractical for a Bull to Drive a car.

Ted Haggard.

Why do you give a blond a gun You dont

Tony Blair, Micheal Jordan, Fabrice Muamba, Aunty Josephine, Nick Clegg, David Cameron, and myself all go out for drinks.

Q: What was Jerry Sandusky's defensive philosophy at Penn State? A: Get penetration and always cover the Tight End.

What's the difference between gold and silver? Atomic number

Where is my tractor?

What's the longest, hardest thing on a black man? His femur.

How do you make a baby cry? Break its legs.

You might be a redneck if you are an individual a part of a low social caste in a predominately rural area such as the southern part of the United States or a mountainous area such as the Appalachians or Ozarks who may or may not partake in stereotypical activities such as hunting, fishing or farming And who also lives in possibly degraded living conditions.

Why did the penis rape the vagina, because it felt good!

Why did Billy drop his ice cream? He was hit by a bus

Why can't Helen Keller drive? She didn't pass her driving test.

A man goes to the doctor and says, "Doc I feel like a pair of curtains!" The doctor replied, "That's probably because you're schizophrenic."

Knock knock. Who's there? Your doorbell is broken.

What is the difference in a dead dog in the road, and a dead black guy in the road? One was a dog and one was a human being..

A. Hey.. B. Hi

iff god whas funny why thit he let your mother be raped and your sister murdered en iff satan whos a ice cream will he taste sweet ?

Why didn't the 13 year old Black boy have any friends? He was autistic and didn't connect properly with people.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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