What's worse than HIV? AIDS -Bob Bobby

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Jesse gets so many ladies

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The frightened girl did everything the man said. " Open your legs. Bend over..." She was playing Simon says and was afraid to loose. It wasn't rape, which her sister had experienced while traveling in 2007.

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What's old, silver, and smells like old cheese? A fork with old cheese on it.

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Hey! That's mine! Give it back!

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Limerick There once was a man from mass whos balls were made out of brass he clank them together to make stormy weather and lightning came out of his ass

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what do you call a black person with no legs or arms? A poor man that clearly was inflicted very badly.

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A: Knock Knock B: ...

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Where is the center of the universe? There is no center of the universe! According to the standard theories of cosmology, the universe started with a "Big Bang" about 14 thousand million years ago and has been expanding ever since. Yet there is no center to the expansion; it is the same everywhere. The Big Bang should not be visualised as an ordinary explosion. The universe is not expanding out from a center into space; rather, the whole universe is expanding and it is doing so equally at all places, as far as we can tell. In 1929 Edwin Hubble announced that he had measured the speed of galaxies at different distances from us, and had discovered that the farther they were, the faster they were receding. This might suggest that we are at the center of the expanding universe, but in fact if the universe is expanding uniformly according to Hubble's law, then it will appear to do so from any vantage point. If we see a galaxy B receding from us at 10,000 km/s, an alien in galaxy B will see our galaxy A receding from it at 10,000 km/s in the opposite direction. Another galaxy C twice as far away in the same direction as B will be seen by us as receding at 20,000 km/s. The alien will see it receding at 10,000 km/s:

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What has four wheels, two wings, and flies? A bird...I was kidding about the wheels.

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Knock knock... Home invasion

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead

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How do you make someone stop talking? Shove a rock down their throat.

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What's the difference between a black man and a bag of crap? Quite a bit. The black man is a human male of the Kingdom Animalia, while the bag is an inanimate object. The only similarity between them would be that they both contain organic matter.

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A man ordered tomato and basil, but received tomato with a man. the man's name is Basil!

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Your mom is so fat, that when she went to the doctor, the doctor told her she had Type II Diabetes.

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A horse walks into a bar. He was blind.

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A white man walking dpwn the street finds a brief-case with a timer on it. A young muslim man says he dropped it. The white man then asked "What's the timer for"? The young man said, "Nothing really, just helps keep the time." They both went their separate ways.

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How do you fit a homosexual man into a small card board box? You cut him into pieces.

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Womens rights

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why did the woman cross the road? to get groceries for making more sandwiches.

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What's worse than missing your favorite TV show? 9/11.

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why did the kid get a bad grade he didnt study

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Why was Sally crying She got a high five In the face With a chair

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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